Celebrating 100,000+ pageviews with Birthday Cake!

I have an optimistic view of humanity. I believe in our potential. I believe in our ability to create. Above all, I believe in making a difference. Every one of us is capable for greatness, although greatness can seem very mundane and normal. Greatness doesn’t have to always mean fame or glory. Greatness sometimes doesn’t mean recognition either. Sometimes it means being there, for yourself or for another person, at the right place in the right way.

I thought I’d be elated when Meals with Morri hit another stepping-stone to success: one hundred thousand pageviews. It took almost four years, but it happened. I was excited, sure, until I started comparing myself to other gluten free bloggers out there: the ones who are published; the ones who are sponsored; the ones who found voices for their passions; the ones who seemed to stick to their path, so sure of what they wanted and continuing to evolve; and above all, the ones who were widely liked and talked about. Oh yes, the green monster called Envy hit me hard.

I really didn’t have a focus for Meals with Morri, other than seeing what I could make without gluten, soy, or cane sugar. I briefly touched upon having an under-functioning thyroid, some of the new ways I’ve learned to love my body (rock climbing, Insanity, yoga), my travels, a couple of book reviews and one for a product, and I thought about bringing activism into my writing. But for many years I was terrified of causing more harm than good with publishing what I thought, extremely careful in general to have a baseline of niceness and impartiality. Just focus on the food, not the politics, essentially.

Funnily enough, and quite embarrassing, it hit me the hardest when I happened to randomly click on one particular blogger: she's eighteen, a lover of yoga and fitness, cooks gluten free, had her site for less than two years… and she had over 1000 Likes on Facebook. Suddenly, the 100K didn’t seem to compare at all. Never mind that I have had people from all over the world read my blog and perhaps try my recipes. Never mind my personal journey to happiness and evolution. Never mind the Masters Degree. Never mind my ability to create and learn in the kitchen. Never mind the food.

It was politics, pure and simple, a popularity game that I so desperately wanted to win, or at least be a part of. I felt icky for feeling this way, until I realized what was beneath it: I felt like Meals with Morri didn’t matter anymore. And beneath that, I learned that of course it matters because I enjoy it. It matters to me. I connect with and learn about people and places through food. What I was yearning for, truly, was a focus, a niche, a way to really share with others.

While in Malta, I loved the people I worked with and what I did in the office, but I really struggled with living in the culture itself. I struggled with connecting with the Maltese people, and more often than not I spent my time at home after work, on Skype or doing Insanity. I felt like I didn’t belong there, awkward and foreign, simply because I couldn’t figure out how the island worked so that I could be a part of the island’s story. Similarly, I felt disconnected (and still do a little) from Meals with Morri.

 

One of my personal goals for this year is to learn to obtain internal validation. Up until this point, I was at school. It seemed like a pretty cut and paste sort of deal: I knew exactly what I was doing, and who I was. Without school and the unknown looming ahead in 2015, I was terrified. I didn’t know who to ask how I could be successful, and I didn’t know what questions to ask. I nitpicked at my choices, about why I just couldn’t be successful, why I was doing it wrong or wasn’t doing enough to get where I wanted to go. Meals with Morri went under the microscope, and I tore it apart with my fears.

But then I remembered: I didn’t start Meals with Morri for the glory. I started it because I thought it would be a fun way to empower myself in the kitchen and teach others about what I know about my trials and successes. I didn’t know that I would also go down the route of utilizing conflict resolution for food security and agriculture issues, hoping to work with local projects to redesign the cities/towns/neighborhoods they call home in bringing effective, self-efficient change. I was worried that Meals with Morri wasn’t the place for that. I was worried that I would lose that connection with people if I started talking about things that were, to be frank, political. 

What’s the saying? You cannot have your cake and eat it (too), right? It may not work out, but that can be said about a lot of things. I have no idea what this year is going to be like, considering that, at some point, I will have a job (hopefully one that is relevant and the people have similar passions) that will help in making a positive something happen. But I do know that I love food, I love the process and the people behind food, and I love the idea of bridging people together to finally work together along with this big blue marble we call home.

So at this juncture I’m just going to wing it. I’m going to start putting myself out there more, reaching out and trying new ways of connecting with others outside of my circles, network more openly, and to start believing that I can do things without other people validating me or giving me permission. I’m going to have that cake, eat a slice, and share its recipe.

This cake recipe has been part of a number of birthday celebrations for as long as I can remember. It’s one of the first desserts I made by myself, and it’s an easy one to do. The recipe I modified is found on the Hershey’s website, and I have used both King Arthur’s Multi-Purpose GF Flour as well as my choice of flours to make it. I substituted the cane sugar for coconut sugar with great success, and have made the cake in various shapes and sizes without any issue. I have also been able to halve and quarter the recipe depending on the number of people who are going to eat it without any issue.

It is the cake that Mama Dazz always asks for her birthday, and one that non-gluten freers are always happy to share with me. Since it is rather sweet, at least for my taste buds, I usually serve it with a lightly sweetened whipped cream but it would also do well with ice cream, fruit preserves, or a homemade caramel sauce.

I’ve made this recipe as cupcakes, as a thin sheet cake, and as thick round layers on top of each other. It is an incredibly easy and satisfying thing to make for whatever occasion you can think of celebrating, even if it’s to celebrate a quiet weekend at home.  

  

Healthified Chocolate Cake (adapted from Hershey’s recipe)

360 g Coconut palm sugar
126 g. Cocoa powder
1 1/2 tsp. Baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. Cream of tartar (or apple cider vinegar)
2 Eggs
90 ml Olive oil
240 ml Boiling water
140 g Rice flour
70 g Almond flour
1 tsp. Sea salt
240 ml Whole milk
2 tsp. Vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350°F.
Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans.*
Stir together the coconut sugar, flours, cocoa, leavening agents, and salt in a large bowl.
Add the eggs, milk, oil and vanilla, and then beat on medium speed of mixer 2 minutes (or by hand with wooden spoon.
Slowly, and in increments, stir in the boiling water (batter will be thin).
Pour batter into the prepared pans and bake for 30 to 35 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean.
Let the cakes cool for 10 minutes, and remove from pans to wire racks.
Allow them to cool completely before serving.

Makes 12 servings.

*Variations (directly from Hershey’s website):

For one-pan cake: Grease and flour 13x9x2-inch baking pan. Heat oven to 350° F. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 35 to 40 minutes. Cool completely. Frost.

For a three-layer cake: Grease and flour three 8-inch round baking pans. Heat oven to 350°F. Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake 30 to 35 minutes. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely. Frost.

For a Bundt cake: Grease and flour 12-cup fluted tube pan. Heat oven to 350°F. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 50 to 55 minutes. Cool 15 minutes; remove from pan to wire rack. Cool completely. Frost.

For cupcakes: Line muffin cups (2-1/2 inches in diameter) with paper bake cups. Heat oven to 350°F. Fill cups 2/3 full with batter. Bake 22 to 25 minutes. Cool completely. Frost. About 30 cupcakes.

Twenty-three Things

It was a glorious birthday weekend. I rock climbed and made primal-friendly brownies. I had a 1920s/Prohibition themed birthday party with mead making, classy friends, and laughter. I walked around with Daddy-O after a light lunch and returned with a Belgian waffle maker in tow. And now, with primal eating and my body in a love-not love relationship at the moment, I am taking it easy by writing this post, my birthday spirit still intact.

On Friday the 16th I turned twenty-three. I’ve heard people give up on the birthday magic after a certain age (most notably in the U.S., becoming legal to drink alcohol on your twenty-first), but not me. Turning twenty-three was awesome, because I feel my age in the most positive of aspects. I may not know what life has in store for me this year, but I have learned a lot thus far.

1. Living safely is not the same as living smartly.
2. I stopped aiming for perfection, and started living for progression.
3. Community is not only something you find; it’s something you make.
4. It’s okay to not be everything at once, and it’s okay to not be everything at once at twenty-three.
5. It is never too late to learn something, and it is never too late to start something new.
6. When asked “What is the point of life?”, this was my response: “I think there really is no one single answer to this question. My meaning is not your meaning, and your meaning isn't mine. Some people spend their entire lives looking for it, while others run into it one random November day. It may take seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, years, decades, and lifetimes to figure it out, but you won't know unless you put yourself out there for the Universe to show you what it offers. Sometimes dreams and goals take time, even grunt work and sh*t work that you may not like. Ask yourself ‘Is it worth it?’ for each and every dream and goal you have. If the answer is ‘no’, then move on to something that is.”
7. Observe without judgment; behind every action is a need.
8. There is no such thing as one perfect body, fitness regimen, or dietary lifestyle. (More on the this after Thanksgiving.)
9. The language your body speaks to you with is possibly one of the hardest and easiest languages you could learn.
10. How do you start to become great at something? By deciding you’re great at it.
11. When in doubt, make belief.
12.  I’m like a chess piece playing the best game I can with the squares I have accessible to the rules of the board.
13. You don’t have to be “on” all the time to be productive.
14. Being genuine has gotten me further than being nice.
15. I strive for community service that is for more than just humanity.
16. My progress is my progress, and it is still progression regardless of the time it takes.
17. Bettering yourself (looks, diet, fitness, education, work, life, etc…) just to prove to someone else what your are worth will never give you the satisfaction you think you’ll get from it.
18. If you treat your body like it’s something to control and fix, it will always be in constant rebellion.
19. Comparing myself to others is a disservice to both parties.
20. I am not my condition.
21. Living in optimism does not mean living with unrealistic expectations.
22. What climbing and yoga have taught me is to reach even with the fear of falling, to be flexible and self-aware, to breathe with purpose, to accept the not-today’s and celebrate the little wins, and to always keep trying.
23. Life is the biggest science experiment there is.

Primal Birthday Brownies (inspired by this recipe)

180 g Coconut oil, solid and at room temperature
125 g Cocoa powder
240 ml Whole milk
100 g Honey
3 Large eggs
240 g Almond meal
1/2 tsp. Sea salt
1/2 tsp. Bourbon vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 325°F.
Place the coconut oil and cocoa powder in a bowl and mix well.
Add the coconut milk, honey, eggs, almond meal, and spices and blend until combined.
Pour the brownie mixture into a greased 8x8” pan* and smooth the surface of the mixture.
Bake for 30 minutes, then remove and allow it to cool before cutting into individual servings.

Makes 20 servings.

*I was able to make two batches with this recipe, though I do believe the thicker the brownie layer, the gooier and less cake-like it will be.

Do You Know the Muffin Method?

There are a couple of recipes that I seem to have trouble with, the most notable being muffins. I know, in comparison to pâte à choux or popovers, you’d think that muffins would be easy-peasy lemon squeezy. They are very persnickety, and demand a lot of attention to detail.

The first time I attempted to make gluten free muffins for this blog was for the GFRR. To remove some of the fat and sugar content, I substituted butter for avocado and the sugar for a little maple syrup. After a few other recipes, such as my cornbread rounds, I noticed that there was a greasy crumb to my muffins and I had no idea why.

I learned that muffins/quick breads need a certain amount of “sugar” to balance its “fat”, no matter what you use in place of both. If you omit one the other will cause an imbalanced product, too greasy and/or too dense and chewy.

I started doing research on baking the “perfect” muffin after my chocolate muffin recipe didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. Fearing that it wouldn’t be cooked after the designated time had elapsed, I baked them for an additional fifteen minutes. They were baked through all right, but they didn’t have the crumb and overall texture I was looking for. If I’d taken them out after thirty minutes, as Ruhlman instructed for his muffin ratio, I’d have been golden.

They still tasted pretty amazing though.

After reading up on "The Muffin Method" from The Balanced Pastry Chef, I learned a thing or two about muffins: how they differ from cupcakes, how to get a peak versus a dome muffin top, and why it’s crucial to keep the wet and dry ingredients in separate bowls before mixing together. Ah, the joys of food science at its best.

So what did I learn from the two muffin recipes I created? Well,

1. Do not over-bake. Seriously.
2. Keep the wet and dry ingredients separate before combining, and make sure all ingredients are at room temperature (as in, between 70 - 72ºF).
3. If substituting fats and sugars, make sure that you keep the ratio of ingredient types balanced.

Next time I want to try baking muffins at a higher temperature for those majestic peaks I read about, maybe baking half the batter at a lower temperature to see just how different the tops actually turn out.

The story behind these muffin recipes differ, as one was made for the ultimate indulgence and one was to go back memory lane with every bite. The chocolate muffins are meant to be a treat, something that says “Late Night Snack”, while the apple muffins were made with breakfast (and the doctor) in mind. Like the chocolate, I did not skimp on the apples with this recipe. There were apple chunks and applesauce in there for double the apple love, tasting more like a moist coffee cake in a muffin package. Mama Dazz and the boyfriend really liked this one, but I’ll post it another time this month.

For now, indulge yourself and "... keep the doctor away" later.

Late Night Chocolate Muffins

60 g Cocoa powder
60 g Mesquite flour
60 g Blanched almond flour
60 g Quinoa flour
120 g Maple sugar
1 tsp. Sea salt
2 Large eggs, room temperature
240 g Whole milk yogurt, room temperature
113 ml Unsalted butter, melted
1 tsp. Baking soda
1 tsp. Unrefined apple cider vinegar
Cocoa nibs, as garnish

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
Combine the flours, maple sugar, and salt in a mixing bowl.
In a quart measuring cup, blend together the eggs and yogurt until you have a smooth consistency.
With a hand mixer or a whisk, add the wet ingredients to the dry until just combined along with the baking soda and cider vinegar, and then slowly pour the butter until all has been added.
Pour the batter into greased muffin tins, about three-fourths the way, and lightly garnish with a sprinkling of cocoa nibs.
Bake for 30 minutes, or until the blade of a pairing knife inserted in the center come out clean.
Let it cool in the muffin tins for 10 minutes before popping it out onto a cooling rack.
Serve warm with coffee or a glass of milk.

Makes 12 muffins.

Baking Brownies for Springtime

I can’t believe it has almost been a year since Meals with Morri made its debut. Only, instead of pancakes, I have the pleasure to join a number of amazing gluten free bloggers in this month’s Gluten Free Ratio Rally… 

… making brownies.

So much can happen over the course of twelve months, and I am always surprised how time quickly passed me by. Twelve months of recipes, life experiences, mistakes, laughter, sorrow, and change. Twelve months of coming into myself, and still learning something new every day.

And I couldn’t have done it without you all.

Spring is such a fascinating season, and a perfect time to reflect the past year. You think about all the things that stressed you out and left you in a tizzy, most of which don’t exist anymore. You look at all the experiences you had and the lessons you learned, some of them less than pleasant and a pain in the butt to deal with, and then you realize that you survived it. You made it to now, and that’s quite an achievement.

Like my very first post, I have found myself sleep-deprived because of hunger, eating an apple with almond butter and an AB & J socca pancake at two-thirty in the morning because my stomach won’t settle for less. So there I was, half asleep and staring blankly into the skillet, watching the bubbles pop on the surface of the huge pancake I made before I put it under the broiler to escape flipping my monstrous creation. I think of the dreams I woke up from, dreams of pouring muffin batter into a non-greased tin before realizing my mistake, of my camera lens chipping, of talking to an old friend like the conflict with their family never happened. Even without sleeping more than four to five hours at a time, even with the week of sniffles and coughing and delirious tendencies, I still went to work and exercised (when I felt I could), two things I know will bring me crashing sooner rather than later.

Springtime brings change and perspective just as bluntly as it brings pollen and allergies. It brings you finicky weather and it brings you a new season of plants to garden, harvest, and eat. Most importantly, at least I think so anyway, it shows you just how bountiful this new year is going to be for you.

For my Grandpa B, that means chickens.

For my household, that means a new compost heap. (Thank you, guys. I love it.)

For my job at the community center, that means awesome “Where the Wild Things Are” themed trips during Spring Break.

For my blog, that means posting recipes, insights, and facts about living a healthy gluten free (among other things) life, loving myself, working around having a thyroid condition, and looking towards sustainable development to help the world community.

And finally, for this post, that means brownies.

I learned something this time around, and it has finally sank in: simple is hard to do. I wanted to do some pretty crazy ingredient combinations and themes for this month’s GFRR, ranging from nut butter marble and vegan bite-sized brownies to strawberry shortcake and piña colada blondies. Really though, the fact you participate at all is something of a feat. Many (if not all) of the participants will congratulate you on a job well done, cheering on the sidelines as I do for them.

In the end, I decided on making a brownie inspired by all that I learned in my Mesoamerican anthropology class. I was particularly fascinated by the cuisine and the plants and animals that were domesticated. But what really got me excited for this month's GFRR was because of the Aztec’s most revered chocolate drink, the Xocolātl.

The result was a fudgy cake-like brownie. It was moist and sweet and just spicy enough to make them “strangely addicting”, as Mama Dazz called them.

Thus, the Oaxacan (WAH-HAWK-CAN) brownie (I named for the Zapotec/Mixtec state found in southern Mexico. It was ruled by the Aztec for a few decades until the arrival of the Spanish.) was created.

Trial 2: Essentially a fudge recipe with an identity crisis

Now, I want to let you know where I goofed up these delectable desserts. 

As I looked at my original recipe and compared it with the ratio while typing this post, I realized why my brownies turned out the way they did. For inspiration, I looked at another person's recipe that called for sweet potato, so naturally she didn’t use the amount of sugar as is usually called for.

That, and I think being sleep deprived played a crucial role in this too.

But just so you know, while I still stand by my brownies, I am glad I made both of them again using 250 g of honey/maple syrup. Another thing you must consider is the creaming method with the eggs and the sugar you choose, because the fat in mine were particularly testy when I didn't. That, and putting cold applesauce on the butters coagulated the fat content and turned my first batch into an epic flop of all Flopdom.

So, if you have walked away and learned anything from making brownies, I sincerely hope it's the creaming method and the importance of bringing ingredients to the right temperature before using.

The ratio is similar to what was offered to the GFRR: 2 parts chocolate, 3 parts butter, 3 parts eggs, 6 parts sugar, and 2 parts flour.

Trial 3: Ding, ding, ding!!! We have a Winner!

Oaxacan Brownies

57 g Unsweetened chocolate
32 g Unsweetened Dutch process cocoa powder
113 g Butter
165 g Honey
85 g Unsweetened applesauce, room temperature
2 Large eggs, room temperature
62 g Quinoa flour
1/4 tsp. Chipotle powder
1/4 tsp. Sea salt
Dash of cayenne pepper
Stevia, optional
Cocoa nibs, as garnish

Preheat the oven to 325ºF.
Melt the chocolate and butter together on very low heat, and then set aside to cool.
Mix the eggs with the honey and applesauce until well blended and add to the melted chocolate.
Sift the flour and cayenne and fold in the chocolate mixture.
Pour the batter into a greased 8x8” (or smaller for a thick and dense cake-like brownie) oven-safe pan, and bake for 35 - 40 minutes until done.

Makes 1 batch, or 8 squares.

As you can see, the brownies were cakey and rich, with a moist crumb that the applesauce helped to provide. On the other hand, the blondies were like gooey snickerdoodles of epic blonde brownie proportions. The mesquite played beautifully with the cacao butter and maple syrup.

The modified recipe for the MCB's still needs a little tweaking, a little too wet for my preference, but the taste is out of this world yummy. 

And just to be different, I baked it in a pie pan.

Photo of 1st Blondie batch with updated recipe below

Mesquite Cacao Blondies

85 g Unsweetened applesauce, room temperature
113 g Cacao butter
165 g Maple syrup
2 Large eggs, room temperature
31 g Mesquite flour
31 g Garbanzo bean flour
1/4 tsp. Sea salt
1 tsp. Bourbon vanilla

Preheat the oven to 325ºF.
Melt the cacao butter and maple syrup together in a double broiler on medium heat, and then set aside to cool.
Mix the eggs with the applesauce and vanilla until well blended and add to the melted cacao butter.
Sift the flour and salt and fold in the wet ingredients.
Pour the batter into a greased 9” pie pan, and bake for 45 minutes until done.

Makes 1 batch, or 8 slices.

I think it's time you head on over and see what the other GFRR participants made, don't you think? Trust me when I say that you won't be disappointed in the least! Our host for brownies was the great Mary Fran of FrannyCakes, a woman who keeps it real with amazing recipes, uses food for healing, and makes my mouth water from the photos she takes for all of us who love good-for-you food.

Oh yes, hear her (us) roar.

Adina from Gluten Free Travelette made Chocolate Brownie Pie with Orange Zest
Angela from Angela's Kitchen made Gluten & Dairy Free Cream Egg Brownies
Brooke from B & the boy! made Triple Chocolate Brownies
Caitlin from {Gluten Free} Nom Nom Nom made Peppermint Brownie Bars
Caleigh from Gluten Free[k] made White chocolate and marshmallow brownies
Caneel from Mama Me Gluten Free made Triple chocolate brownies
Charissa Luke from Zest Bakery made Slutty gluten-free brownies
Claire from My Gluten Free Home made PB&J Brownie Whoopee Pies
Claire from This Gluten-Free Life made St. Patty's Day Marshmallow Swirl Brownies
Erin from The Sensitive Epicure made Mexican Cocoa Brownies with an Almond & Pepitas Crust
gretchen from kumquat made salted caramel brownies
Heather from Discovering the Extraordinary made Nutmeg Blondies
Irvin from Eat the Love made Blueberry Citrus Marble Brownies
Jean from Gluten-Free Doctor Recipes made Blue Ribbon Brownies
Jenn from Jenn Cuisine made Grain free brownies with no-bake ricotta cheesecake cream
Jonathan from The Canary Files made Vegan Marbled Banana Walnut Brownies
Karen from Cooking Gluten Free! made GF Chewy Crackled Top Brownies with Raspberry Puree
Mary Fran from FrannyCakes made Gluten-Free Hazelnut (Nutella) Brownies
Morri (Me!) from Meals with Morri made Oaxacan Brownies & Mesquite Cacao Blondies
Mrs. R from Honey From Flinty Rocks made Black Bean S'More Brownies
Pete and Kelli from No Gluten, No Problem made Caramel Mexican Chocolate Mesquite Brownies
Rachel from The Crispy Cook made Co-Co Nut-Nut Blondies
Shauna from Gluten-Free Girl made Gluten-Free Brownies
Tara from A Baking Life  made Chocolate Flourless (Mint) Brownies
TR from No One Likes Crumbley Cookies made Gluten Free Berry Fudge Brownies

Stumped & Flopped

I’ve been producing quite a few “half-baked” recipes lately. It’s a term I use to regard a recipe as having the potential to be delicious, but it’s missing something crucial. There were two of which I was particularly bummed about, because I was really looking forward to blogging their awesomeness and I’m usually quite good at figuring out what recipes need.

These two, however, have stumped me silly. 

So if anyone out there in cyber space with some time and the ingredients could make it and tell me what’s missing, I’d gratefully appreciate it.

The first of these borderline flops was a smoothie similar to the “Sweet Pea Pucker Smoothie” recipe I made early on in my Meals with Morri blogging. I had a bag of key limes I needed to use up and was craving a key lime pie sort of smoothie. I don’t think it was nearly tart or sweet enough (that, or the sweet and sour flavors weren’t balanced correctly), and could have possibly used a banana in the mix.

Key Lime Pie Smoothie

Juice of 6 Key limes
1/2 Ripe avocado
81 g Frozen spinach
150 ml Coconut milk
120 ml Almond milk, unsweetened vanilla (found in Trader Joe’s refrigerated section by the milk)
122 g Applesauce, unsweetened
Stevia, to taste

I blended the ingredients until smooth and poured it into two jars lined with almond meal and flaxseed meal (the “crust”). It tasted okay, but I wasn’t very much impressed with it overall.

The second one was also a disappointment, though edible. I wanted to make an indulgent oatmeal breakfast with cocoa nibs and powder. I’ve had issues with cocoa powder before (see this post for my cocoa powder flop moment), so maybe baking chocolate would have worked better. It also wasn’t balanced in flavor, a little to bitter and not sweet enough. Instead of water, I think almond milk would have helped in making it creamy and decadent instead of strong and grainy. It’s also quite possible that the cocoa nibs should be on their own, like a chocolate chip or something.

Chocolate Crunch Oatmeal

20 g Steel cut oats
20 g CGF rolled oats
240 ml Water
5 ml Unrefined apple cider vinegar
7 g Cocoa nibs
5 g Unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 tsp. Sea salt
1/4 tsp. Bourbon vanilla
Stevia, to taste
1/4 tsp. (1 ml) Coconut oil

I combined all of the ingredients except for the coconut oil the night before to soak, and then cooked it over medium heat the next morning (oil included). I poured it into a bowl and garnished it with a whole banana, a spoonful of peanut butter, chilled coconut milk, and a dash of cinnamon. Again, I think if the garnishes were integrated in the oatmeal, it would’ve tasted phenomenal.

Let me know what recommendations and alterations you’d make with either (or both) recipe, and I’ll make them again and credit you for helping me in its success.

"I Wish You Well" Chocolate Shortbread Cookies

I’m not a big fan of goodbyes. I’m a “hello” person; that’s what I do best. I would prefer a greeting embrace to a farewell kiss any day. Even “See you later” is better than goodbye.

 I believe Charles M. Schultz summed it up rather nicely:

"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together?  I guess that wouldn't work.  Someone would leave.  Someone always leaves.  Then we would have to say good-bye.  I hate good-byes.  I know what I need.  I need more hellos."

So when it comes to me and goodbyes… I’m not a big fan.

(source)

It’s possible that people don’t really like the concept because that indicates a change in their lives. People can say goodbye to people, to ideas, to places, to beliefs. We hold on to things that are comfortable, and when it’s time to let go, sometimes we’re not ready.

I’ve also noticed I am more sentimental in my goodbyes when I don’t know someone particularly well or recently got to know them. You know these people; they’re in your life right now. They are blurred in the beginning, merely part of the background. But then, something brings them into focus, and you’re wondering why in the world you never noticed such a cool person before. And then… then they have to go. Their absence can be as short as a few hours. Their absence can be as long as eternity. Maybe they have a different class schedule. Maybe they are in a different country or continent. Maybe they’ve passed.

A goodbye is a goodbye is a goodbye. Regardless of the flavor, the majority of the time it isn’t pleasant.

But that’s not to say you can make it easier on yourself and on the other person (or place or thing). When I learned a classmate in my community conflict resolution class was being deployed, I was saddened. He was the second person to tell me that within thirty-six hours. Despite the politics and the conflicts with the war the U.S. and the Middle East are in, real people are suffering. Real people are having to say more goodbyes than one should in a lifetime. Sometimes, it’s a permanent one.

I don’t think anything is going to happen to my new friend, but I was still rather distraught to hear him leaving. He has that charm that makes everyone around him smile, and he is very easy to talk with. We talked about the Sufism and Mu'tazila philosophies and how it was possible to follow both. We talked about Islamophobia and what he did in the military. He's a talker, this one.

But that's what I like about him, and I look forward to his safe return.

“May the sun shine, all day long,
everything go right, and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you,
and may all the wishes you wish come true!”
~Irish Blessing

In fact, to ease the goodbye process (for me) I told him I wanted to make him something and asked him what he would like. He, knowing about my gluten free lifestyle as well as this blog, told me he wanted cookies.

“What kind of cookies?” I asked. 

“Chocolate,” his reply.

So I looked to Ruhlman’s book, not necessarily reading the fine print about how this was a shortbread cookie recipe and it didn’t spread. Meaning, the first batch were rolled into balls, thinking that they would. About one-third in on the cooking time I pulled them out of the oven and smooshed them down with a spoon. 

The result? Meh…

I tasted them and realized they were much too dry, likely from the cocoa powder. I didn’t want to give him a mediocre cookie. I wanted to give him something that he would enjoy, not just the sentiment behind it. So the next batch I tried unsweetened baking chocolate... and pressing them down before putting them into the oven. ;)

The result? Totally “See you later” worthy.

(I also want to give a shout-out to my awesome Daddy-O for getting me an electric mixer for Christmas. It really helped make these cookies spectacular and look forward to future recipes using it.)

"I Wish You Well" Chocolate Shortbread Cookies

2 oz Agave nectar
2 oz Coconut oil, room temperature
2 oz Baking chocolate
1 Egg
1/8 tsp. Salt
1/2 tsp. Baking powder
1 oz Peanut butter
1 oz Quinoa flour
1 oz Amaranth flour
1 oz Arrowroot
1 oz Buckwheat
1 oz Millet

Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Combine the agave, the coconut oil, the egg, the peanut butter and the baker’s chocolate until thoroughly mixed.
Fold in the dry ingredients gradually and mix until a uniform dough is combined (note: the dough will be rather sticky, but will easily form).
Using a tablespoon-sized measuring spoon, roll the dough into balls and place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, and press them down to the thickness you want. 
Bake until cooked through, about 15 minutes or so (note: because there is relatively little fat, these cookies will not spread out as they bake and will have a satisfying crunch).

Makes 12 cookies.