Eating Cake on the Rooftop

On at least three separate occasions I have been asked if I’m still doing Meals with Morri. The short answer is yes. The longer answer obviously has more to it than that. 

When I first started, I was cooking and posting and writing on the regular, and in doing so I learned how to cook and post and write. I met a lot of talented and amazing people along the way. Companies and publishers reached out to me to write reviews for their products and cookbook authors. I learned to be picky, and when to say no.

But with the evolution of Meals with Morri, particularly the person behind it (i.e., yours truly), I started to become very critical of my art. If it wasn’t something I thought people wouldn’t like, it wasn’t posted. If the photos I took were not good enough, the recipe itself would have to wait. This doesn’t particularly bother me, because I have really blossomed with the food I’ve made, and the stories I’ve written about them have refined. The problem I am facing now is the realization as to why I love to cook, and why Meals with Morri has been lacking in recipes per month recently.

My motivation in making food is just that: making food. Not for me, but to share with others. Eating the same food with other people is such an important ritual for me. It’s a sacred act of connecting with others at the table. I had experienced a similar revelation while I was in Malta. When I lived alone, I just made food. There was nothing more to it than insuring I was eating enough. But when CK and I visited each other or I made food for the office, suddenly the creative juices were flowing in overdrive. And perhaps the underlying reason is to validate my art, to see that Meals with Morri was doing something positive in person. But really, I’ve come to realize that, like my previous aspirations to be a chef, I really love it when people eat and enjoy the food I make for them. 

Living with my parents after over a year of not doing so has meant that what they eat and what I eat doesn’t mesh as often as it used to when it was my responsibility to make dinner for the family. There’s nothing wrong with this, of course, but not sharing food I make with other people has affected my motivation to create and share recipes online. I like there being a reason for my art, and I want to experience that shared moment in person, in real time. CK and our two dear friends H and J have risen to the challenge in helping me see that it's equally important for me to enjoy my art, and are more than willing to help give me ideas in what to make (thanks, guys).

Last night, I was invited to a friend’s birthday party, and although I wasn’t asked, I made a cake that I knew I’d be able to eat. It was a rooftop party, one that overlooked other Washington, D.C. apartments and offices, the Washington Monument blinking lazily far away. The already present cupcakes had been eaten, and to my surprise, my cake was used to sing to him “Happy Birthday” (which I unashamedly conspired with his girlfriend in making happen). The cake was said to be quite good, and only a few people knew that it was gluten free. 

Rooftop Carrot Cake with Honey Sweetened Cream Cheese Frosting

For the cake
120 g White rice flour*
1/2 tsp. Baking soda**
1 tsp. Cream of tartar**
1/4 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 eggs
1 tsp. Vanilla extract
150 ml olive oil
200 g coconut sugar
5 Carrots, grated

Preheat the oven to 350°F, and grease (I used butter) and flour (I used the white rice flour) one 9-inch pan.
In a medium bowl, sift together the rice flour, baking soda, cream of tartar, sea salt and cinnamon.
In the bowl of a stand mixer (or a larger bowl with a hand mixer), combine the eggs, olive oil, coconut sugar, and vanilla, and beat on medium-low speed until the mixture is slightly frothy.
Reduce the speed to low, and add the flour mixture in small increments, making sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula each time.
Stir in the grated carrots, mixing until combined, and pour the batter into the prepared baking pan.
Bake for 40 - 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean (for me, this was 50 minutes).
Let the cake cool in the pan for 10 minutes, and then turn out onto a parchment lined wire rack to cool completely.
Once cooled, decorate the cake with frosting and other toppings you may enjoy (such as unsweetened coconut shavings).

Makes 1 cake, or 12 slices.

For the frosting (courtesy of this recipe)
8 oz package or 240 g Cream cheese, softened
56 g Unsalted butter, softened
85 g Honey
Unsweetened coconut shavings, as topping (optional)

Whip the cream cheese in a standing mixer until soft, then add the butter and honey to blend.
Mix on medium speed until smooth and creamy.

Makes 12 – 18 servings.

* NOT to be confused with sweet rice flour. If you do, you’ll get a mochi-like consistency.

** The baking powder equivalent is 1 1/2 tsp.

Celebrating 100,000+ pageviews with Birthday Cake!

I have an optimistic view of humanity. I believe in our potential. I believe in our ability to create. Above all, I believe in making a difference. Every one of us is capable for greatness, although greatness can seem very mundane and normal. Greatness doesn’t have to always mean fame or glory. Greatness sometimes doesn’t mean recognition either. Sometimes it means being there, for yourself or for another person, at the right place in the right way.

I thought I’d be elated when Meals with Morri hit another stepping-stone to success: one hundred thousand pageviews. It took almost four years, but it happened. I was excited, sure, until I started comparing myself to other gluten free bloggers out there: the ones who are published; the ones who are sponsored; the ones who found voices for their passions; the ones who seemed to stick to their path, so sure of what they wanted and continuing to evolve; and above all, the ones who were widely liked and talked about. Oh yes, the green monster called Envy hit me hard.

I really didn’t have a focus for Meals with Morri, other than seeing what I could make without gluten, soy, or cane sugar. I briefly touched upon having an under-functioning thyroid, some of the new ways I’ve learned to love my body (rock climbing, Insanity, yoga), my travels, a couple of book reviews and one for a product, and I thought about bringing activism into my writing. But for many years I was terrified of causing more harm than good with publishing what I thought, extremely careful in general to have a baseline of niceness and impartiality. Just focus on the food, not the politics, essentially.

Funnily enough, and quite embarrassing, it hit me the hardest when I happened to randomly click on one particular blogger: she's eighteen, a lover of yoga and fitness, cooks gluten free, had her site for less than two years… and she had over 1000 Likes on Facebook. Suddenly, the 100K didn’t seem to compare at all. Never mind that I have had people from all over the world read my blog and perhaps try my recipes. Never mind my personal journey to happiness and evolution. Never mind the Masters Degree. Never mind my ability to create and learn in the kitchen. Never mind the food.

It was politics, pure and simple, a popularity game that I so desperately wanted to win, or at least be a part of. I felt icky for feeling this way, until I realized what was beneath it: I felt like Meals with Morri didn’t matter anymore. And beneath that, I learned that of course it matters because I enjoy it. It matters to me. I connect with and learn about people and places through food. What I was yearning for, truly, was a focus, a niche, a way to really share with others.

While in Malta, I loved the people I worked with and what I did in the office, but I really struggled with living in the culture itself. I struggled with connecting with the Maltese people, and more often than not I spent my time at home after work, on Skype or doing Insanity. I felt like I didn’t belong there, awkward and foreign, simply because I couldn’t figure out how the island worked so that I could be a part of the island’s story. Similarly, I felt disconnected (and still do a little) from Meals with Morri.

 

One of my personal goals for this year is to learn to obtain internal validation. Up until this point, I was at school. It seemed like a pretty cut and paste sort of deal: I knew exactly what I was doing, and who I was. Without school and the unknown looming ahead in 2015, I was terrified. I didn’t know who to ask how I could be successful, and I didn’t know what questions to ask. I nitpicked at my choices, about why I just couldn’t be successful, why I was doing it wrong or wasn’t doing enough to get where I wanted to go. Meals with Morri went under the microscope, and I tore it apart with my fears.

But then I remembered: I didn’t start Meals with Morri for the glory. I started it because I thought it would be a fun way to empower myself in the kitchen and teach others about what I know about my trials and successes. I didn’t know that I would also go down the route of utilizing conflict resolution for food security and agriculture issues, hoping to work with local projects to redesign the cities/towns/neighborhoods they call home in bringing effective, self-efficient change. I was worried that Meals with Morri wasn’t the place for that. I was worried that I would lose that connection with people if I started talking about things that were, to be frank, political. 

What’s the saying? You cannot have your cake and eat it (too), right? It may not work out, but that can be said about a lot of things. I have no idea what this year is going to be like, considering that, at some point, I will have a job (hopefully one that is relevant and the people have similar passions) that will help in making a positive something happen. But I do know that I love food, I love the process and the people behind food, and I love the idea of bridging people together to finally work together along with this big blue marble we call home.

So at this juncture I’m just going to wing it. I’m going to start putting myself out there more, reaching out and trying new ways of connecting with others outside of my circles, network more openly, and to start believing that I can do things without other people validating me or giving me permission. I’m going to have that cake, eat a slice, and share its recipe.

This cake recipe has been part of a number of birthday celebrations for as long as I can remember. It’s one of the first desserts I made by myself, and it’s an easy one to do. The recipe I modified is found on the Hershey’s website, and I have used both King Arthur’s Multi-Purpose GF Flour as well as my choice of flours to make it. I substituted the cane sugar for coconut sugar with great success, and have made the cake in various shapes and sizes without any issue. I have also been able to halve and quarter the recipe depending on the number of people who are going to eat it without any issue.

It is the cake that Mama Dazz always asks for her birthday, and one that non-gluten freers are always happy to share with me. Since it is rather sweet, at least for my taste buds, I usually serve it with a lightly sweetened whipped cream but it would also do well with ice cream, fruit preserves, or a homemade caramel sauce.

I’ve made this recipe as cupcakes, as a thin sheet cake, and as thick round layers on top of each other. It is an incredibly easy and satisfying thing to make for whatever occasion you can think of celebrating, even if it’s to celebrate a quiet weekend at home.  

  

Healthified Chocolate Cake (adapted from Hershey’s recipe)

360 g Coconut palm sugar
126 g. Cocoa powder
1 1/2 tsp. Baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. Cream of tartar (or apple cider vinegar)
2 Eggs
90 ml Olive oil
240 ml Boiling water
140 g Rice flour
70 g Almond flour
1 tsp. Sea salt
240 ml Whole milk
2 tsp. Vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350°F.
Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans.*
Stir together the coconut sugar, flours, cocoa, leavening agents, and salt in a large bowl.
Add the eggs, milk, oil and vanilla, and then beat on medium speed of mixer 2 minutes (or by hand with wooden spoon.
Slowly, and in increments, stir in the boiling water (batter will be thin).
Pour batter into the prepared pans and bake for 30 to 35 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean.
Let the cakes cool for 10 minutes, and remove from pans to wire racks.
Allow them to cool completely before serving.

Makes 12 servings.

*Variations (directly from Hershey’s website):

For one-pan cake: Grease and flour 13x9x2-inch baking pan. Heat oven to 350° F. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 35 to 40 minutes. Cool completely. Frost.

For a three-layer cake: Grease and flour three 8-inch round baking pans. Heat oven to 350°F. Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake 30 to 35 minutes. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely. Frost.

For a Bundt cake: Grease and flour 12-cup fluted tube pan. Heat oven to 350°F. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 50 to 55 minutes. Cool 15 minutes; remove from pan to wire rack. Cool completely. Frost.

For cupcakes: Line muffin cups (2-1/2 inches in diameter) with paper bake cups. Heat oven to 350°F. Fill cups 2/3 full with batter. Bake 22 to 25 minutes. Cool completely. Frost. About 30 cupcakes.

Playing with Paleo: A Delicious Birthday Experiment

The autumn storms have rolled in and brought with them that crisp air I love so much. Pumpkin and apples are in ample supply, and baking is becoming a coming occurrence in my household. With my Masters application officially submitted, I’ve exhaled this breath I had apparently been holding. Along with other hard lessons digesting from September, October is looking to be one creative and relaxed sort of month (save for midterms, of course).

The best part of fall is the flavor selection. We have foods that warm and fill us, sweet and savory ingredients that come together in a symphony of delights, and the oven always seems to be preheated and ready to go. To add to that, fall is the season I become very adventurous in my recipes.
 

Over the weekend I celebrated my two best friends’ birthdays. J and TJ, a ridiculously adorable couple, have been so supportive and loving as I pieced together what had been causing my recent stress, and visiting them (individually and together) always lightens my heart and brightens my day.

What was left of the piñata...

So when I was approached with the challenge to make a Paleo dessert for TJ, a lover of pumpkin and cheesecake, my Creative Mind’s gears starting turning.

In place of cream cheese and butter, because TJ is lactose intolerant, I looked for ways to make turn raw, dehydrated coconut flakes into “cheese” with a creamy nut butter consistency. (How did I do it? Read on for the link in the directions.) For the crust, almond meal and coconut oil was used to make it grain-free and dairy-free, and it had a marvelous crushed graham cracker taste and consistency.

 It was a delicious experiment, and one that will only get better over time. As for TJ and J?

They loved it.

Paleo Pumpkin Birthday "Cheese"cake

For the crust:
240 g Almond meal
64 g Honey
1/2 tsp. Cinnamon
120 g Coconut oil, melted

For the filling:
500 g Homemade coconut “butter”
425 g Pumpkin puree
3 Large eggs
400 g Honey
Juice of 1 Lemon
1 tsp. Bourbon vanilla extract
1/2 tsp. Cinnamon
1/4 tsp. Nutmeg
1/4 tsp. Ginger
Sea salt, to taste (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
In a medium bowl, combine the almond meal, honey, cinnamon, and melted coconut oil. (If a little wet, add a little more almond meal until it is soft but stable to the touch.)
Press the mixture throughout a greased 9-inch pie pan until evenly covered, and then set aside.
If you do not have homemade coconut butter on hand, proceed to Chocolate Covered Katie’s blog to learn how to make your own, and then add it to the remaining ingredients for the filling in another medium bowl to mix.
Pour the filling in the center of the pie pan and spread it evenly.
Cover the crust with aluminum foil to prevent burning and bake at the center of the oven for one hour.
Remove from the oven and let it sit for 2 – 4 hours until room temperature and then let chill in the fridge for an additional 2 – 4 hours or overnight before serving.
Serve cold.

Makes 8 – 16 servings.

In Celebration & Loving Memory

July 4th came and went like any other holiday: family and food, laughing and loving, planning and remembering. I meant to write about it, because I had a recipe I was particularly proud of to share, but it was put to a screeching halt when I found out a person in my life had passed away.

This person has never been mentioned on this blog before, so I want to take a moment to mention that all of the usual folk (i.e., the cats, Mama Dazz, Daddy-O, the Burt-man, Grandpa B, Grandma D, the family in general, friends aforementioned, and the boyfriend) are fine and well. Regardless, his death was a blow to my core, and the next few days after the Red, White, and Blue Grill day were spent in mourning.

 

I learned a lot about myself in that moment, how much we came together as a community to celebrate the life of someone we cherished, how to make the day count with hearts wide open, and how family and children both can help with the pain in different ways.

Making art with kids...

... is the best kind of healing.

The children at camp are pure energy. They feel completely and act accordingly, taking you along for the ride. For two days I forgot my sorrow as I watched “The Lorax” with the rising kindergarteners, took photos of the various hustle and bustle throughout the camp, and told a group of kids to “go crazy” with the paint on the recycling bins. But after I left the kids, I remembered my sadness, and I felt it throughout my body. But I learned from it, and have been telling everyone in my life how much they mean to me since then. Life's too amazing and precious to be angry, stressed out, or focusing on the small stuff. Value everything, even if times are hard, because often times it does get better.

Independence Day is a holiday that honors what every day should be about: celebration of life, remembering the fallen in how they changed us, and looking to the future with a bang (fireworks included). I’m not afraid of living anymore, and like him I will walk tall, speak and think honestly, and be the change I wish to see.  

Angel Food Cupcakes (adapted from Ruhlman’s recipe in Ratio)

380 g (roughly 10) Egg whites
175 g Coconut sugar (from the palm blossom)
185 g Maple sugar
120 g Rice flour
1/2 tsp. Sea salt
1/2 tsp. Cream of tartar
15 ml (1 lemon) Lemon juice
1 tsp. Bourbon vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
Measure out the egg whites in the mixing bowl and place in the mixer using the whisk attachment.
Combine the coconut sugar and the flour in a food processor (I would use a spice grinder for the sugar first), and set aside.
Beat the egg whites on medium for a minute or so, then add the salt, cream of tartar, lemon juice, and vanilla and increase the speed to medium-high.
Once the foam has been established and the mixture is opaque, begin drizzling in the maple sugar.
Continue mixing until the maple sugar is incorporated and the foam just passes the pourable stage (it will hold a weak peak).
Pulse the coconut sugar-rice flour two or three times to aerate it, and sprinkle over the meringue as you fold the meringue with a rubber spatula.
Continue to sprinkle and gently fold the mixture over itself until all the remaining sugar-flour has been incorporated.
Using an ice cream scooper (or 1/2 c. measuring cup), dollop the batter into 24 paper-lined muffin tins and bake for 25 minutes (it’s done when a skewer or a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean).
Allow the cupcakes to cool for thirty minutes to an hour before removing from the tins, and serve with berries and whipped cream on top.

Makes 2 dozen cupcakes, or 24 servings.

Learning from Kids and their Art

When you work with kids, you start seeing things in a brand new perspective. You start seeing how amazing the world is, how fascinating the creative mind works, and just how brilliant sentience can be. The kids I work with range from going into kindergarten all the way to entering middle school, and all of the artwork they’ve created thus far is simply too beautiful for words. 

In the working environment I find myself in this summer, with its amazing staff and equally amazing kids, I come home so energized and inspired to make the next day even more spectacular. They’re bringing out the best in me as I hope I do the same in leaving a positive mark in their lives.

As I work with these kids, it is phenomenal how effortless being yourself actually is. They keep me on my toes, sure, because each child needs something different from me, but I strive for that sort of life. Whether it’s how I teach, what art project I have them do for the day, or working with what kind of day they’re having, I feel limitless in my abilities to be that person for them.

If it is one thing I’ve learned so far, it’s this: if there are no mistakes in a child’s artwork, then there are no mistakes in my own growth and progression. Why should my inner critic talk so loudly over something that can only get better over time? If I find children’s art so amazing – with their perceptions of reality shown in shaky albeit heavy marker lines, large words and figures out of proportion – and their imagination so incredibly infinite in their tiny finite bodies, then I should realize how far I’ve come and far I’m going.

To celebrate my first forty-hour workweek in my life, I made a cake. It’s a sticky, moist, apple cake that tastes amazing warm from the oven to sitting in the fridge for a few days. It isn’t too sweet, but life is sweet while you eat it.

“While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.”
~ Angela Schwindt 

Sticky Apple Cake

240 ml Sparkling water
2 Large eggs, yolks and whites separated
60 g Unsweetened applesauce
42 g Honey
1 Apple (I used a Pink Lady, but whatever you have is fine), grated
1/2 tsp. Bourbon vanilla extract
120 g Buckwheat flour
90 g Mesquite flour
30 g Blanched almond flour
1 tsp. Baking soda
1 tsp. Sea salt
1 tsp. Cinnamon
1 tsp. Ground ginger
1/2 tsp. Nutmeg
80 g Apple butter
Walnuts, optional

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
In a medium-sized bowl, blend together the sparkling water, egg yolks, applesauce, honey, grated apple, and vanilla, and set aside.
In another bowl, mix the flours, spices, and leavening agent thoroughly before integrating the wet ingredients with the dry.
With a hand blender or a whisk, form the egg whites into stiff peaks and gently fold them in with the batter.
Pour the mixture into a greased (I used coconut oil to keep it dairy-free) 9-inch pie pan.
Using a small silicon spatula, place the apple butter on the top and form a swirl indentation to create a marbled appearance.
Bake for 45 minutes or until the center is thoroughly cooked through.
Remove from the oven and let it cool for fifteen minutes on the counter before cutting into the cake and serving.
Smear your choice of nut butter, creamed cheese, or whipped cream, and serve warm or chilled with coffee, ice cream, or whatever you’re in the mood for.

Makes 1 cake, or 8 servings.