Graduated.

Almost two months since a post. A first on the Meals with Morri site.

I’ve completed the Conflict Analysis and Resolution MS Program. My last class technically finishes on Wednesday, but I turned in my assignment early so I would have the weekend devoted to catching up on sleep and spending time with CK. This will be our longest time spent together, and my first summer spent with a partner ever, so you can imagine my excitement.

A lot has happened in two months. I took six credits worth of highly intensive schoolwork (as in, two graduate-level classes in the half the time) alongside working part-time and full time at my internship. I wasn’t sleeping well. I stopped exercising. I was a nervous wreck. I struggled.

But I did it. I’m done. Now, halfway through my internship, I feel like I can enjoy Malta for the rest of my stay.

I’m a bit behind in recipes, and I’m still processing the post-Graduate inevitability (sound familiar?), so please bear with me. My goal is to resume regular posting in August. For now, I'll be editing the website and brainstorming ideas on how to refine the Meals with Morri focus as well as what in the gods' names I'll be doing as a career.

In the meantime, thank you for visiting my area of cyberspace, and feel free to email me suggestions on what recipes you'd like to see in the upcoming months.

Risotto is an Italian classic, and one of my favorite rice dishes out there. CK and I have made it over Skype and together, and it’s one of those dishes that is easy to make and easy create variations with little to no effort at all. Pea and mint is a fantastic combination, and recipes for this risotto variation can be found everywhere.

Sweet Pea and Mint Risotto

25 g salted butter (or olive oil for a dairy free and vegan risotto)
1 Red onion, finely diced
400 g Arborio rice
1 glass of white wine*
200 g Fozen peas
1 tsp. dried mint
1 L water, hot (preferably boiling)**
Sea salt and cracked peppercorns, to taste

Parmesan cheese, to top***

Finely chop the onion and “sweat” (known as soffrito in Italy) it very gently in the butter over medium heat in a large saute pan or pot.
Add the rice and cook until it has a transparent look (this shouldn't take long) followed by the mint, wine, and peas.
When the wine is more or less gone, add the water (or stock) a little bit at a time (never submerged).
Keep stirring it and keep adding more liquid as it cooks away, about 15 to 20 minutes.
Taste to see if the rice is done: the rice should be soft, but have enough bite to it to feel the individual grains of rice.
Serve immediately with Parmesan cheese*** on top.

Makes 4 – 8 servings.

*A traditional risotto usually calls for a dry to semi-dry. I had a bottle of Maltese white wine that was sweet but with a dry aftertaste. It gave the risotto a wonderful depth of flavor that harmonized well with the sweetness of the peas and the coolness of the mint.

** One easy way to maintain the heat is using an electric kettle.

*** For a dairy-free/vegan cheese replacement, I recommend nutritional yeast.

The Bento Box Snapshot: A Week of Pareve

Much like my summer internship last year, I really have had to focus on what I am able to eat for my job as the camp’s art specialist. As I mentioned before, the community center I work at is Jewish-oriented, as is the camp, so that meant following their dietary laws as well. In the beginning it was impossible to tell which meats the kids brought to camp were kosher, so all lunches are now required to be either dairy or pareve.

BBS 1: Carrot risotto, fresh veggies, mozzarella, and daily apple

Since I’m not Jewish, I was worried about offending people with the food I brought. Regardless of my food intolerances, I took on the challenge to make a week of bento lunches that:

1. Observed the dairy and/or pareve rule as written in Judaic law
2. Consisted of things I could and would eat
3. Were nutritionally balanced
4. Kept me full until dinner

Let’s just say that all my lunches were total successes.

BBS 2: Homemade hummus, rice, and dipping veggies (not shown)

For one thing, I learned that size does matter for a bento box. The one Daddy-O gave me last Saturday on our way back from the National Harbor is just perfect for my active lifestyle and appetite. It is two-tiered, which gave me the ability to either make two small meals, or one lunch with a variety of ingredients.

Much of what I packed were leftovers from dinners the night before, tons of veggies, and freshly made spreads like guacamole and hummus. Beans and rice were common, though I did enjoy tuna salad spring rolls and salmon cakes immensely. Cottage cheese and blueberries showed up twice on the top tier (the one that is split into two separate compartments) upon finding that I loved the combination.

BBS3: Salmon cakes, quinoa salad, cottage cheese & blueberries

I hope to have another week of Bento Box Snapshots this time next Sunday, along with: other recipes that may or may not end up in my lunch box, food from my family’s July 4th festivities (i.e., a Grill day), and the camp’s field trip picking blueberries.

Goodness, I love summer.

BBS 4: Tuna salad spring rolls, and cottage cheese with blueberries (not shown)

Choices

Has it really been a week? Seven days flew by like there were twenty-four minutes in a day instead of twenty-four hours. So much has been happening lately, and because of it I haven’t felt much like blogging.

In an attempt to regain some sort of control of my destiny, I decided to increase my fitness regimen. Yoga has sort of slipped from my daily routine, but rock climbing six times a week along with my attempts to run three miles five times a week (the latter is new) outside or on the treadmill/elliptical has brought much frustration. In truth I was expecting miracles, hoping to see my “problem areas” melt away and a lean, strong, and confident Morri would show herself in the mirror. But because I’m working out more, I am waking up early again, hungry and tired and doing what I can to stay in the present through partially closed and exhausted eyes.

From last Tuesday to today, I have done what I know makes me feel in control: cooking and baking, exercising and eating. But it’s a little better now… kind of.

Looking b.a. with my B.A., but really...

I know I said I finished school in December, and received my diploma in February, but I participated in my school’s convocation ceremony last Saturday. To think I had considered not walking across that stage in my cap and gown, cheering and being cheered by friends and family. Grinning ear to ear, I was inspired by the speakers and their speeches, and I fell in love with my discipline all over again. There was a feeling of closure as I moved my tassel from the right side of my green cap to the left, embracing my peers, both graduating and not. And because of this memory of facing the stage and listening to these beautiful people speak, and shaking hands with the Dean, and being photographed and smiling all the while, I decided to apply for grad school in the Spring.

... I'm freaking ecstatic!

Wish me luck.

I learned this week that life is all about choices, and how the choices you make not only affects you but everyone around you. Sometimes these choices are hard, and you need to see where your priorities lie and conflict. (This is conflict resolution in its intrapersonal form: what are you willing to negotiate or compromise or give up for another priority or choice? Are you even able to?) Sometimes the choices you think are easy turn around and show you another choice that takes you down another path entirely.

We had a full house!

My biggest fears are the fear of regret and the fear of time, (and I’m terrible at decision-making when both choices are equally grand and amazing), especially when I have put upon myself a schedule of the times in my life said choices are to be completed. It’s silly, it’s exhausting, and I’m done with focusing on the uncontrollable things and making the things that are controllable not good enough.

I have a good life with numerous options. I have my education, my loved ones, my health, and my passions. That’s really all anyone can ever ask for. 

There are times, though, when comfort is needed on a plate, something rich and filling, diverse and healthful, and sweet and savory. Risotto (or any rice dish that has a creamy consistency, really) has become one of my favorite dishes to play around with, and I wanted a recipe that had ingredients synonymous to spring.

Sweet Rabbit Risotto

800 ml Water
1 2 lb/32 oz Rabbit, whole or in pieces
1 tsp. Sea salt
292 g Arborio rice
2 Carrots, grated
1 White onion, coarsely chopped
1 Garlic clove, coarsely chopped
2 Green onions, thinly sliced
120 g Petite peas, frozen or fresh
45 g Walnut halves, coarsely chopped
50 g Dried currants
1 heaping tbsp. Dried parsley
1/2 tsp. Dried tarragon

In a pressure cooker (or large pot) on medium-high heat, cook the rabbit in the water (along with the teaspoon of salt) until the meat can be easily removed from the bones (for a pressure cooker, this will take about an hour, while in a regular pot it will take significantly longer.
Remove the rabbit from the water and place it on a cutting board, shred the meat with a fork, and place the meat in a bowl to use later.
Pour the Arborio rice into the rabbit broth and cook as you would normally prepare rice.
In a large cast iron skillet on medium heat, grease the bottom with your choice of cooking oil and add the remaining ingredients (except for the parsley and tarragon) to cook until soft and slightly colored.
When the rice is done, fold in all the other ingredients until completely integrated.
Serve hot over French-cut green beans.

Makes 8 servings.

Inspiration from a Chocolaty Flop

Sometimes great ideas for recipes come to you just after another reveals itself to be a flop. I was inspired to make chocolate muffins, the ultimate breakfast indulgence, but without all the sugar. So I used applesauce and stevia, and let’s just say that applesauce and chocolate do not go together. I also attempted to make it dairy free, and the sunflower seed oil I used in place of butter turned out to be a big mistake.
 
So what did I get in my muffin tin? Well, it was: bitter and not at all sweet; crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside (neither one a compliment); and chocolaty, yes, but completely unbalanced in flavor.

It’s flops like these that I really wish baked goods were compostable.
 
Since it was still early in the day (I woke up early for a morning rock climbing session), I felt I could still make a recipe before my shift at the community center. I thought about remaking the muffins, but that looked to be a recipe for another day, so I thought about making something I planned on doing later in the week.

I know, I know… it’s completely random. How does one go from muffins to spring rolls (of all things) in a morning? I honestly have no idea, but this recipe worked with what I was craving at the moment. It was filling, clean (in the sense I could taste every ingredient), and filled with delicious vegetable goodness. That, and I think Meals with Morri needed a recipe that didn’t call for cooking or baking anything.

Spring rolls are something I’m surprised gluten-freers aren’t embracing more. The rice paper is relatively easy to find – not to mention inexpensive – and you can stuff it with practically anything. You can have sauce/dressing in the filling without fear of it dripping on your hands. It’s the perfect finger food on the go, and highly adaptable to your dietary lifestyle (save the grain-free crowd, sadly).

I made mine with tuna salad as I have done with lettuce wraps and socca in the past, but I added some Asian flavors to change it up a bit. For this recipe, you don’t have to use tuna. You can cook up some chicken, use another species of fish, or go completely veg with beans and/or quinoa.

Either way, I guarantee it will be delicious.

Tuna Salad Spring Roll Wraps

10 Rice paper sheets
5 Romaine lettuce leaves, halved and stemmed
2 cans 5 oz/142 g Albacore solid white tuna in olive oil, drained of excess oil
2 Small red onions (or shallots), finely diced
2 Carrots, grated
2 Garlic cloves, finely chopped
2 Ginger chunks (garlic clove size), finely chopped
5 ml Unrefined apple cider vinegar
1 Small green bell pepper, thinly sliced
184 – 200 g English cucumber, seeded and thinly sliced

In a medium-sized bowl, thoroughly mix together the drained tuna, onion, carrot, garlic, ginger, and apple cider vinegar.
Take one piece of rice paper at a time, and dip it into warm (not hot!) water for 5 seconds in a shallow bowl or until it softens.
Place it on a flat surface and lay the pieces for one lettuce leaf down, followed by the tuna salad, and then the cucumber and pepper slivers.
Fold it into the shape of a roll like so, or however you wish to serve it (I left one end open for a “wrap” appearance.)
Garnish with black sesame seeds and serve with a dipping sauce containing coconut aminos, Penzeys wasabi, and white sesame seeds.

Makes 10 spring roll wraps. Serves 2 – 5 people depending on meal preference.  

Reaching Acceptance & Letting Go

It was three-thirty in the morning when it happened. That same clawing hunger that I thought I’d tempered came back with a vengeance. And it doesn’t just come at three-thirty; sometimes it happens at two. Has it been weeks since I’ve slept over six hours at one time, or months? Regardless, I haven’t slept a full night for quite some time, simply because the hunger pains are relentless. It’s like all I do throughout the morning is eat, and then after dinner before bed I eat. I eat and I snack and I graze. I feel like a black hole that’s always empty, or a pot that never fills, even when you’re making rice for the whole family. 

It's never enough.

I eat and I eat and I’m frustrated. Actually, I’m not as frustrated as I was on Monday (or on Wednesday, when I started writing this post), but still I’m frustrated.

A couple of weeks ago I received a letter from my doctor regarding the bone density scan I had done in February. The results weren’t alarming, but they weren’t rays of sunshine either: my bone density was below average.

I remember watching the machine scan my hip, and how humbling it was to see my bones on the computer screen. It occurred to me how little I thought of what was under the skin, the muscles, the veins, and the blood. Beneath all that I never considered how real my bones were, how instead of being the body of a small universe there were these white masts I used as foundation. It was so grounding a thought that when I received that letter, I felt unreal, deflated, like I could feel the very things that were my foundation giving in to the weight of what it held together.

I was no longer immortal, and I was suddenly aware of my humanity.

The results could have been worse. They could have shown that I had the bones of a one-thousand-year-old mummy with no way of fixing it. Instead, it just merely pointed out that my bone density was below average, and the good news was that there was treatment. (The Doctor had mentioned that too much Armour Thyroid could cause bone loss; however, I think my low bone density was the consequence of years of disordered eating.) So with that in the back of my mind, with some of my early hypothyroid symptoms returning and being Hungry with a capital “H”, you can see how it can leave a girl frustrated.

The hardest part for me is not knowing why I am so hungry, and whether is has to do with: my thyroid condition or some other health factor I haven’t considered (hypoglycemia, mineral/vitamin deficiency, etc.); my fitness regimen of exercising six days a week; or, even with additional meals and snacking, I’m still not eating enough.

And there is the matter of considering that it’s all three.

I usually get emotional when I talk about having a hypothyroid condition. I feel really vulnerable when I do, and that is probably why I don’t write about it very often on Meals With Morri (I’ve talked about the treatment, but rarely the condition itself and how it affects me). I am not the condition, and I don’t view it as part of my identity as a person. There are days, however, when I can’t explain this overwhelming fatigue or when I’m suddenly intolerant of the heat or the cold. I get embarrassed of my cold hands and the yellowish hue when both symptoms flare up. I get discouraged because of the added complications that make it harder to keep weight off or lose weight in general. The biggest fear I’ve had as of late is if I eat more, despite my very active lifestyle, I’ll become the next incarnation of Budai (without the jolliness). 

(source)

So this week I’ve been experimenting by writing out what I’ve been eating, taking my pulse before I go to bed and after I wake up, and working on balancing my active lifestyle with my calorie intake. I’m still waking up early, and I weigh no more than I did when I was weighed before my bone density was scanned. But if getting my bones in tiptop shape means weighing more, or if eating enough to sleep a full night in peace means I am destined to weigh (on average) 125 pounds, I accept those terms.

To be honest, fighting your body for what you believe to be best is hard work, especially when there is more than one way to being right. I could fight (and have been fighting) against my health’s shortcomings or I could work with them and accommodate those needs accordingly.

I’m done being my worst enemy, and I’m finally ready to be my best friend. I’m ready to work with my whole self to finding what works and what doesn’t work for me. Sure, I may get frustrated and I may have days when my symptoms flare up. And yes, there will be days I think it’s unfair that I can’t wear a size 4 dress. But having the health that I have has taught me the importance of pacing myself, being honest, going with the flow, and to never give up trying. It shows how marvelous life truly is in all of its twists and turns and complexities.

I may have gotten up earlier than I wanted to today with a sniffle and a sneeze, and I may have “a rumbly in my tumbly” like a certain Silly Old (Taoist) Bear, but I smile and I enjoy the beautiful spring day as it is.

And really, that’s all we can ever ask for.

Simply Green Brown Rice

360 g Sprouted brown rice
500 ml Water (or more if you want a creamier consistency)
15 ml Unrefined apple cider vinegar
3 tsp. Minced dried onion
1 tsp. Sea salt
1/2 tsp. Herb de Provence
1/4 tsp. Whole cumin seeds
1/4 tsp. Cracked pepper
1/4 tsp. Dried tarragon
1 bunch (126 g) Curly leaf parsley
Juice of 1 Lemon
30 ml Olive oil

1 Lemon, cut into wedges and served as garnish

Combine the rice, water, vinegar, and spices into a pressure/rice cooker or medium saucepan and cook until the rice has softened and taken a creamy consistency (time will vary based on how you usually prepare brown rice and how much water you put in).
Place the parsley, lemon juice, and olive oil in a food processor and pulse until the ingredients form a pesto-like quality.
Fold in the parsley mixture with the rice, and then serve warm with the lemon wedges on top.

Makes 8 servings.

Getting Glutened & the Healing Qualities of Congee

I wish I could say I have a happy story to share with you all, but there is a very good reason as to why I’ve been so quiet this week. Not only have I been losing my voice off and on since last Thursday, I also was glutened, badly, at a health store of all places.

Despite not having the blood work that backs up my gluten intolerance or my hypothyroid condition, I do have both and being on Armour Thyroid as well as a gluten free (soy free and refined sugar free) diet has kept my body in tip-top shape. In fact, I started intermediate training for a 5K in December last Monday and couldn’t have felt better. But I didn’t realize just how gluten intolerant I was until Monday around noon, and now because of that incident I’ve been bedridden, unable to go to class or run.

I’m curious how others, gluten intolerant and those with full-blown celiac, are affected when it gets into their system. It took less than an hour before I started to feel the effects. Just above the naval I started to feel something along the lines of needles poking my stomach and intestines. It then progressed to a severe headache, something I felt from the frontal lobe that ended up going all the way down to the spine. All of this was happening right when my first class of the day started, and I was able to leave after the quiz.

Truthfully, I was surprised I was able to drive those fourteen miles home. I felt, for lack of a better word, intoxicated, but the kind no one enjoys. I was nauseous, with blurred vision and the sharp pain spreading throughout my lower torso. The bloating was beyond painful, and the image of sausage casing bursting in the skillet was the image I visualized. My intestines felt inflamed, enlarged, and tight. When I attempted to sleep, I kept waking up only to roll on my stomach to lessen the pain. And despite this, there was a pressure on my lower back as well, like someone was applying a consistent force with their fists on my kidneys and adrenals. I kept getting up at three in the morning, only because I was hungry and queasy at the same time. Tea was essential, with milk and lots of honey.

Ginger - Lemon Tea

Throughout this ordeal my voice was totally gone, so I am taking my compromised immune system into account. I kept dragging myself to bed and have been sleeping the majority of the late morning to the early afternoon, doing my best to sleep the worst of it away. In these situations, I refer to it as “the hangover without the fun.”

How did I get this way, you may ask, at a health store? Well, consider Snow White and the Apple. She was told not to accept anything from anyone who wasn’t one of the seven dwarves. And then this [supposedly] harmless old lady offers her a delicious apple. She knows she shouldn’t, but she figures the dwarves couldn’t possibly mean sweet old ladies in the middle of the forest who offers pretty girls delicious apples for no apparent reason, so to be polite and respectful she takes a bite.

(source)

And if you’ve read the Brothers Grimm or seen Disney’s movie version, we all know what happens to her.

In a way, the same thing happened to me, although I highly doubt it was malicious or done on purpose. After working for nearly six hours with over forty kids, I thought it would be a good idea to get a bottle of G.T. Kombucha and a snack before class. As I was browsing the gluten free isle, one of the employees approaches me with a small paper sample cup, slightly bigger than a thimble, halfway filled with a green drink of some sort. She compliments me on my hair (think Hermione Granger with thickness and curls), and asks me if I’d like to try it.

Me: What is it?
Her: Oh, it’s just apple juice with green powder. It’s just fabulous. I love it.
Me (throat raw, parched and hungry): Does it have added sugar in it?
Her: Nope. Just organic, freshly pressed, unrefined apple juice with the powder.
Me: Well… (Sniffs the drink and it smells like apples and spirulina) okay.
Takes the drink like a shot.

As I go to check out, a bag of raw ginger “cookies” and cranberry kombucha in hand, I look at the display and see what I was offered just a few minutes ago. I think, what the heck, I’ll read what’s in it. And as I do so, this heavy weight falls to the pit of my stomach and I do my best not to panic.

Me: Ummm… do you know if this is gluten free?
Her: Huh, I don’t know. I’ll read the ingredients.
Guy behind the counter: (Dismissively) The gluten protein is only found in the berries, and only a handful of people with celiac are affected by the grass.
Me: (Silently panicking) Oh.

Like Snow White and the Apple, so it was with Morri and the Green Apple Juice Drink. I didn’t die, but golly, there were moments where I felt like I was. For two days and an evening I’ve spent clutching my stomach and doubled over in pain, kicking myself for not thinking clearly and drinking something without all the facts. It wasn’t malicious, and I know that. I mean, I know these people! I like these people.  I spent much of my time at the store talking to them about my dietary lifestyle, so I just assumed they would remember. More than anything, I was disappointed. Disappointed in the store for not being more empathetic to what just happened, and disappointed in myself for getting glutened in the first place. I have emailed the store headquarters of the incident and what I recommend so that it never happens to someone else. I’ll post their response when I receive it, including the copy of the letter I sent.

Regardless if I am miraculously healed by tomorrow, I still have to go to school. If I want to graduate, I need to put my big girl pants on and deal with being in the classroom for three hours. All I need to do is put one foot in front of the other, slowly and carefully.

Now, in order to speed the healing process, I figured going grain-free would be a good idea until I felt better. But oddly enough, my body wanted rice in a love-hate sort of way. Meaning, I wanted to eat it and my stomach wanted to eat it, but I was also nauseous and didn’t want to eat it. It was like that for everything actually. I had rice and potatoes and, I think though I may be mistaken, rolled oats (as always, the CGF kind). I ate apples and peanut butter, and craved fruits more than I have in a while. My body couldn’t get enough tea, milk, honey, or raw veggies either. Eggs were also in demand. I wanted to give my body what it asked for, and I also wanted to be smart about it. With an inflamed digestive tract, I wanted something simple, hot, and good for an unhappy and sour gut.

This is where congee comes in.

Congee is a kind of porridge made with rice, though it can also be made with other grains. In the future I’m thinking of making a multigrain congee with rice, quinoa (red for texture and white for creaminess), buckwheat, CGF oats (steel-cut for texture and rolled for creaminess). The beauty of congee is how adaptable it can be based on what your body wants and needs. It can be sweet or savory. It can be thick or thin. It can be traditional or contemporary. And it keeps in the fridge for days, a great thing for the flu season (or when you’re glutened).

The ratio of water to rice for congee differs on the desired thickness: for thick, 8:1; for medium, 10:1; and for thin, 12:1. One source says to use less water when using the rice cooker as opposed to a slow cooker or via stovetop. And remember, you can always add more but you can’t take away.

Four Rice* Congee

45 g Jasmine rice
45 g Sprouted brown rice
45 g Sweet brown rice
45 g Medium grain brown rice
64 oz Water (or more, for a runnier consistency)
1/4 tsp. Sea salt
1 tsp. Unrefined apple cider vinegar

Combine the rice, salt, and vinegar to 8 oz of the water to soak for up to an hour (overnight is preferred).
Place the rice-water mixture and the remaining water in the rice cooker (or slow cooker, pressure cooker, etc) and cook at the lowest and longest setting.
When the grains of rice begin to break up, the congee is done but you can cook it for longer or slower amounts of time depending on your personal preference.

*A cup of rice equals 180 g (or 6.35 oz). You can choose whichever rice or grain you have on hand and mix and match to your favorite grains.

Serves 2 – 4.

With 1 serving, I mixed in peas, additional sea salt, cracked pepper and garlic and topped it with one fried egg, sunny-side up, as well as black sesame seeds, sesame seed oil, and chipotle powder.

The Bento Box Snapshot: Pork roast with rice and veggies

Before my 4:30 class starts, I thought I’d post the first "Bento Box Snapshot" of the semester! I can tell my Mondays are going to be busy. From 1:30 p.m. to 7:10 p.m. I have class, with 1 hour 45 minute break in between. With fifteen credits to take to graduate (three classes or nine credits for my anthropology minor and one class or three credits for my last conflict resolution class as an undergrad), as well as CARmunity starting up again, applying for grad school and looking for a part-time job, I have a feeling BBSs will be rather common this semester.

And that’s fine by me.

For lunch I packed another rice cracker sandwich with roasted turkey and gouda slices with a granny smith apple and a dollop of peanut butter.

As for dinner, I sliced up last night’s pork roast with a side of a combination of sweet brown and black rice. Along with my protein and grain is a salad, consisting of Kumato (or Olmeca) tomato, carrot, red bell pepper, cucumber, and labneh. There is some coconut aminos sprinkled around… somewhere. Oh yes, and sea salt and cracked pepper brings it all together.  

Mushroom Risotto & Garlic-Jalapeño Green Sauce

This is not the post I thought I'd be writing this morning. In fact, I was supposed to officially move in yesterday with five other friends in a house less than five miles away from George Mason University. And after that laborious ordeal, we were supposed to be celebrating the move in with an elaborate dinner and a gluten free and vegan baked donuts breakfast the following morning. Instead, my last semester as an undergraduate starts today, and I’m at home with my parents, a few recipes and posts behind schedule.

1st breakfast of the semester.

I’m not going to get into detail of what happened, because I think that would be in poor taste and, as they say, “the Internet is forever”. What I will say is the house didn’t work out, and standing up for what’s right for you can be the hardest and least popular thing you could do for yourself.

I don’t blame anyone, not really. There was a miscommunication of what was expected, both from the owners/landlords and by the individual tenants. And what have I to show for it? The family I was to be renting from were friends of mine, and I lost that friendship to business. It wasn’t supposed to be about me; rather, the fact of the matter was the house wasn’t ready to rent out. I couldn’t breathe when I was attempting to move in before the boyfriend got back from Texas. Even with the windows open, my lungs felt heavy. My throat is so swollen from all that has happened (additionally, I hurt my wrist in attempt to move a wooden couch frame down a flight of stairs by myself) that I have gotten spirulina powder, chlorella capsules, and a box of Omega3 Squeeze Chocolate Orange just to detox my body in time for the first week of the semester.

Experimenting with spirulina in my breakfast. A bit too green for me.

Many lessons were learned last week, lessons that were hard and heartbreaking. I learned why I used to exercise so obsessively, and that was to make sure I was strong enough to never be taken advantage of, whether it was physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. I cried, along with multiple panic attacks, and I was left with the feeling of depth and quiet as opposed to numbness and cynicism.

I learned what true friendships looked like. There is the kind of friend that stops what they are doing to come with you to move all your stuff from the house in the middle of the night, and do this multiple times over the course of a weekend. There is the kind of friend that stands up for you and stands with you, no matter what arises. There is the kind of friend you find in your lovers and loved ones, who provide support and advice and encourage you to stick with your guns and hold strong onto what you believe in.

Most of all, I learned the difference between being independent and being dependent on yourself. Depending on yourself doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t depend on others, like it would be expected should you strive on true independence. It means that, despite everything that is going on in your life, you never give in to what you know in your heart to be wrong. Sometimes, it differs from person to person, and that is completely okay. As a conflict resolution major, I strived to keep the relationship before the business, and of course there are some things I wish were said and others that I wish there weren’t. But the house will have tenants that the landlords think it deserves, and I am happy for them. I wished it could’ve worked out, but in the end, I think it did.

With that, lovely readers, I have two recipes make up for my absence due to the drama and trauma of this last week. Both came together to make a lovely meal, and the balance of taste, texture, and heat was similar to the absolutely delish steak dinner Mama Dazz and I had in Cape Cod.

Mushroom Risotto

12 oz Arborio rice
32 oz Vegetable stock
1/2 tsp sea salt
Pinch of each, Cayenne & Paprika
1 tbsp. Olive oil
1 tbsp. Dehydrated minced onion
1/4 tsp. Italian seasoning
2 oz Parmesan cheese, freshly and finely grated

1 tbsp. Olive oil
3 tbsp. Pinot Grigio
10 oz Baby Bella mushrooms, thinly sliced
2 tsp. Coconut aminos (or gluten-free tamari sauce)

Place the rice, stock, oil, and spices into the rice cooker on “Brown Rice”  (i.e., slow cooking) or in a medium saucepan on low heat for up to an hour).
After the rice has absorbed all of the liquid, add in the Parmesan cheese and keep the rice cooker on “Warm” (or you can put a lid on the saucepan).
Put the oil, wine, mushrooms, and aminos in a skillet on medium-high heat and cook until the mushrooms are done.
You can add the mushrooms in the rice or simply put them on top.

Serves 6 – 8.

Garlic-Jalapeño Green Sauce

3 Jalapeño peppers, seeded, deveined, and coarsely chopped
3 Garlic cloves, coarsely chopped
Juice of 1 Lime
3 Basil leaves
3 tbsp. Olive oil
2 tbsp. Unrefined apple cider vinegar
1/4 tsp. Sea salt
1/4 tsp. Cracked pepper

Place all of the ingredients in a food processor and blend thoroughly.
The sauce is rather thick, similar to a runny puree, so add more oil and vinegar for a thinner sauce.
Keep refrigerated and use within a week of making.

Makes 2/3 c.

Steak Kabobs & Savory Rice Muffins

Even two days after Sunday (as I publish this post… make that three), the day of baby showers, concerts, and blog events (oh my), I still am at a loss of words to poetically describe what is forever engraved in my mind. I mean, how can one illustrate the love and happiness I saw in that restaurant?  What fun to see children and adults alike as they attempted to trick others into mentioning anything baby-related to get one another’s clothes pins for the coveted prize. How can I efficiently write about the magnificence and the beauty of people from different backgrounds, cultures, and cycles of life, coming together to celebrate a new life coming into this world in August? The aroma of the food was heavy in the air, delicious and spicy and warm. There was rice, tandoori, kabobs, fritters, salad, fruit, rice pudding, and cake. 

Truthfully I only ate some of the rice, a few salad pieces, and a bit of the chicken, but I can happily say that I was not glutened… and it was good. So good, in fact, that Deshi Spice is definitely a restaurant I intend on trying again. Mama Dazz also wants me to dabble in the cuisine, so I’ll have to ask our neighbors how it’s done.

And then, there was the concert.  

The Indigo Girls were just as amazing performing live on stage as I remember Mama Dazz and I singing along to their CD on our many adventures. Their music was our soundtrack in Arizona, in North Carolina, at various beaches and for plenty of day trips. I grew up with their voices influencing how I perceived the world around me, making it a more vibrant and profound place to be in. Their words echoed everywhere I went that it seemed like all my experiences were all just one Indigo Girl’s song. I couldn’t tell you which of their songs are my favorite, because I don’t know them all. The majority of the songs they sang on Sunday were ones I’d never even heard before. But they still affected me like they always have. I stared down from my box seat on the upper level of the pavilion, much of their bodies saturated with the stage lights, very much in awe and entranced with the music that surrounded me. I was so overcome with emotion that my eyes filled with tears more than once, and even now I couldn’t tell you why. 

Amy Ray and Emily Saliers. The Indigo Girls. These women are supernatural, with voices singing loud and clear, whose spirits are even larger than Wolf Trap has a capacity to hold. 

 

Oh, and let us not forget the band that not only introduced them, but is part of their tour: the Shadowboxers.

Like the Indigo Girls, the Shadowboxers also hail from Atlanta. The members seemed to be around my age, as they mentioned having graduated from college in May (I mention this because life after graduation seemed so unreal to me, but seeing these post-graduates eased my mind regarding my own future… mainly because they were clearly doing something they loved). They have quite a unique sound that, much like the Indigo Girls a decade before, immediately had me spellbound. Their voices harmonized wonderfully, the instruments were very well played, and they had this New Band look to them that I hope they never lose. The fun they had simply being at Wolf Trap was apparent the minute they walked on stage. They jumped and they danced. They smiled and they sang. They were having a ball, and it was a pleasure to be part of it. 

And thank you, Dad, for sharing it with me. Happy (early) Father's Day.

I wish these talented individuals all the joy in the world. For those in the United States, be sure the look up where their tour is heading, because it is something that will stay with you forever. I promise you it is worth the travel.

Tonight’s – well, last night’s – dinner was inspired from the cuisine Mama Dazz and I enjoyed last weekend. Leftover rice and raw vegetables are very abundant in this household, and I wanted to find a way to make some room in the fridge but still make the meal interesting and different. Lisa from Lisa’s Kitchen specializes in healthy Indian cooking, and my adaptation of her rice muffins was the perfect accompaniment to the kabobs. 

Steak Kabobs and Savory Rice Muffins

For the Kabobs:
16 oz Tri-tip steak
1 Yellow bell pepper
1 Red onion
1 Roma tomato
8 Garlic cloves
Salt and pepper, to taste
Olive oil

4 Wooden skewers, soaked for six hours
Aluminum foil
Preheat the oven to 375°F.
Cut the steak, pepper, onion, and tomato into manageable pieces, leaving the garlic cloves whole.
Place the pieces onto the skewers, and put the kabobs on a baking sheet lightly greased with the olive oil (there will be leftover onion chunks that can be put around the pan).
Rotate the kabobs so the olive oil is evenly distributed (drizzle more if you prefer), then shake the desired amount of salt and pepper on top.
Cover the baking sheet with aluminum foil and put it in the oven for 35 – 40 minutes.

Makes 4 kabob skewers. Serves 4 people.

For the rice muffins:
5 oz Brown rice flour
2.5 oz Glutinous rice flour
2.5 oz Potato starch
8 oz Short grain brown rice
1 tsp. Baking soda
1 tsp. Italian seasoning
1/2 tsp. Sea salt
5 oz. Milk
2 oz. Water
2 oz. Butter, softened
3 lg. Eggs
3.5 oz Ricotta cheese

1 tbsp. Agave nectar

Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Combine the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl.
In another mixing bowl, stir in the wet ingredients with the rice.
Add the wet ingredients with the dry until a consistent batter it formed.
Place the batter in a greased muffin tin, filled to the rim.
Bake for 30 minutes or until a knife comes out clean.

Makes 12 muffins.

Loving Yourself: Chicken Pot Pie for One

I’ve been considering body image lately. Since last week I’ve pondered why there’s such an obsession with having the perfect body. I was sitting with Mama Dazz, talking about typical mother-daughter things until I spied old photos of me on her computer desk. In one photo, I must have been in fourth grade the time it was taken, as I was wearing the P.E. uniform for the school I had transferred to when my parents had separated. I was giving the peace sign along with two other kids in my class, and noticed something interesting. Despite my rounded face, I was similar in body to the fairly skinny girl on my right. The other photo was of me in fifth grade, with short hair and eating party sweets. That was the year puberty hit, and I was slightly fuller than the year before, but I wasn’t that big.

In a way, people are like cats...

“I wasn’t as big as I thought I was,” I mused, “and I was rather cute.”

“Oh, you were beautiful, Morri,” Mama Dazz replied. “You always were.”

Different breeds = different kinds of beauty.

Enter the flashback of my puberty years: Mama Dazz comforting while I cried, thinking I was ugly, fat, and stupid. She had this mantra that she would tell me every time this happened. She would hold me and tell me “It will get better… It will get better.” I tried to believe her, but it never set in, not really. I thought I was going to be fat and ugly and stupid forever.

I looked down at the photo of the smiling fourth grader that was me and I say out loud: “What happened?”

True, I wasn’t the healthiest kid. I was sick often, disliked exercise, and was a picky eater. But when puberty hit, and I was seemingly the only girl in class that was rounded and developing differently, I began comparing myself to the others. As far as I was concerned, if I were thin I would be liked. If I were thin I would be pretty. If I were thin the boys would ask me out. If I were thin I would be smart.

This is not how a fifth grader should be thinking.

Mama Dazz pointed something out to me that I thought was fascinating. From her generation to now women are more inwardly critical than they used to be. Meaning, we are more accepting of other women and how they look than we do with ourselves. What’s more, what we see in the mirror isn’t what other people see. Our reflections are so distorted that it takes a photograph from years ago to point out just how beautiful you actually were.

I for one believe there is no such thing as the ideal body type. From the toned and angular athlete to the curvaceous plus-sized babe, from the lanky gamer to the Buddha with a cherub face, there is beauty in every person.

True beauty is loving yourself in every sense of the word, making sure you are happy, healthy, and whole. You don’t have to squeeze into a size 2 to be considered attractive, or have muscles bulging through your clothes. 

I admit I have these relapses where I look in the mirror and nitpick at my “imperfections”. I sometimes say to myself, “Just a few more inches… Just a few more pounds… If only I were taller… If only…” Why, just this morning as I was shopping for skirts and dresses for the spring and summer weather, I ended up putting the majority of back because of this type of thinking. And though I felt I looked amazing in the things I did buy, I was frustrated because I didn’t find what I was looking for.

Clothes don’t make the person, and neither does the flesh or fat. The frustration I was experiencing wasn’t in regards to the skirts I tried on; rather, it was because I was timid and uncomfortable wearing them. For years I’ve been balancing what it meant to be a woman in today’s world, for if I was too feminine I wasn’t strong and if I was too masculine I wasn’t a woman. I chose masculinity for power and strength and muscle because it was the safer route. I could compete with men in a way that I couldn’t with women. As a result, I lost a part of myself. And that part of me rather liked dressing up in frilly things.

So ladies and gentleman, I cannot stress this enough. It is time to take a stand and revolutionize the way we look at ourselves, and the way children and adults alike feel about their bodies.

If someone hasn’t told you this today, let me be the first: You. Are. Beautiful.

Chicken Pot Pie for One

For the filling

3 Frozen chicken tenderloin pieces

5 Heirloom tomatoes (or 5 cherry or 1 Roma), halved

1 Carrot, cut into smallish chunks

1 Celery stalk, coarsely chopped

1/2 Small white onion, finely diced

1/2 Orange bell pepper, sliced thinly and cut into chunks

1/3 c. Frozen petite peas

2 Cloves garlic, coarsely chopped

1/4 tsp. Sea salt

1/4 tsp. Pepper

1 tsp. Arrowroot starch

For the crust

1/2 c. Cooked Arborio rice

1 Egg

1/2 tsp. Baking powder

2 tsp. Glutinous rice flour

Preheat the oven to 350°F.

Put the ingredients for the filling (not including the arrowroot startch) into a saucepan over medium heat with water just skimming the top.

Once the chicken is just cooked, cut into small pieces and place back in the pan.

Cook for one hour on medium-low heat.

Drain all of the liquid from the pan (there shouldn’t be a lot, but I recommend saving it for another recipe), and use 1/4 c. of the stock to make a rue with the arrowroot starch.

Pour back into the pot and cook on medium-low for fifteen minutes.

While that is cooking, add into a mixing bowl the ingredients for the crust until thoroughly combined.

In an oven-safe bowl (one you won’t mind eating out of), pour in the filling first and then add the crust on top.

Bake for thirty minutes or when the crust is completely cooked through.

Serves 1.

Forbidden Coconut Macaroon Breakfast Bake

Despite finding this morning’s weather to be similar to yesterday’s, the offness I felt has disappeared and only happy thoughts are left. Saturday mornings are the best, even when you get up earlier than you expected. The coffee tastes better, the breakfast isn’t rushed… and the cartoons are funnier.

Yes, I am aware that I’m a senior in college and still watch cartoons. But there’s nothing quite like sipping coffee while laughing to reruns of the “Rugrats” or “Phineas and Ferb”, though “Ed, Edd, n Eddy” still has a special place in my heart.

And then there’s “Chowder”, where food and cartoon magic combine.

(source)

“Chowder”, created by C.H. Greenblatt, only recently became a personal favorite. In the mystical city of Marzipan, Chowder, a young cat-bear-rabbit creature boy becomes an apprentice to a chef named Mung Daal, who owns a catering company. Truly a magical place where the creatures are named after food, the ingredients are weird and extraordinary, and the recipes are as imaginary as they are creative. This show, although very much a vivid and colorful surrealistic interpretation of cooking, is exactly the kind of reality people should have when making a meal. There is an attention to detail, to the senses (good and bad), to color and texture. These are things I believe people view to be out of reach nowadays.

But there is a select few that know better, that turn the eating experience from something fictional to something tangible. With cooking, nothing is impossible unless you think it is.

If you can imagine it, you can make it. It’s as simple as that. (In fact, that gives me an idea...)

This rainy morning made the outside vivid in green and other earthy colors, the birds chirping, the boyfriend sleeping, and the cats demanding “out”. I decided to put my imagination to the test and finally make that breakfast bake, and make it right this time. As I added the ingredients I thought of how I wanted it to look, how I wanted it to taste, how I wanted the texture, how I wanted the color.

After three (or four) attempts, I believe it is finally Edible Perspective (and “Chowder”) worthy.

Ashley, I hope you like it.

Forbidden Coconut Macaroon Breakfast Bake

1/2 c. Forbidden rice (a.k.a. Glutinous Black or Purple rice)
1 tbsp. Coconut flour
1/4 tsp. Baking powder
1/8 tsp. Sea salt
1 tbsp. Chia seeds
1 tbsp. Shredded coconut
4 tbsp. So Delicious coconut milk
1/4 tsp. Vanilla
1 Egg
Cinnamon and nutmeg (to taste)

Preheat the oven to 350°F
In a mixing bowl, add the ingredients and mix until thoroughly combined.
Pour the mixture into a greased skillet, the smallest one you have.
Place the skillet into the oven for thirty minutes or until set.
Once done, use a spatula to get under the breakfast bake and place it on your plate.
Garnish with whatever catches your fancy. (I sprinkled a little coconut milk and added a dollop of peanut butter for mine.)

Serves one. 

The "Not Really a Breakfast Bake" Rice Bowl

Ah, the joys of being a morning person. I simply love waking up to the soft morning light gently warming my face, the memory of the wonderful dream I was having still fresh in my mind, my tummy grumbling for attention similarly the way my cats sit on my chest and paw at my nose to be fed and let outside.

It’s a wonderful feeling.

I think my favorite time of day is around 8:45 in the morning. Rain or shine, Spring or Winter, there is something about the morning I adore. I tend to wake up before my alarm goes off on most days, then I plop on my flesh-eating bunny slippers, head downstairs and think about what my body wants for breakfast.

But first, coffee…

I have what my parents call "the smooshy face" in the morning, my eyes slightly closed, my body relaxed. My morning routine is calm and unhurried, something I need this early in the day. I use these quiet hours to prepare myself for the hustle and bustle of my day to day life, and tend to get over-stimulated when my routine is disrupted with noise and vivacity.

For your safety and overall well-being, let me have those precious hours of tranquility. It is likely that I will decide to eat you. So tread lightly, for here, there be Morri’s.

(I am actually a lot brighter and more accepting to liveliness in the mornings on most days, but sometimes, when I’ve had a late night, I prefer stillness and quiet.)

I say this because the morning is my downtime for the fun adventures ahead. But for the last few days, I’ve had to cut my morning routine short, getting up especially early in the mornings, and going off to do things I needed to do before noon. This morning was the first in almost a week that I could sleep in an hour more, take it slow, and have the time to try out something new for breakfast.

Ashley from The Edible Perspective has been mentioned on my blog before. Her breakfast bakes have been very appealing to me as of late, and her quirky can-do personality is catching and a delight. The only downside was I don’t have the some of the ingredients on hand to try out some of the recipes she’s posted (yet). Also, my tummy was acting a little off, and I was curious as to whether or not it have to do with the rolled oats I had been eating every morning for the past few days. I decided to give my body a rest and try out something new. 

After my last attempt on a breakfast bake using oatmeal, I thought of using some of the sweet brown rice I had on hand and incorporating part of Ashley’s breakfast bake ingredients to keep it together.

The result was similar to the last time I tried making a breakfast bake. There was a nice crust on top but remained soft and unstable on the bottom. I think it had more to do with using such a small pan to cook it in, instead of the ingredients and the amount of the ingredients used. Next time, I’m using a bigger pan and will post the outcome.

It may have not been what I was expecting, but it was very delicious and extremely satisfying. The egg white made the baked porridge creamy and rich, with a soufflé-like taste and texture. I didn’t use any type of sweetener except a spoonful of fruit preserves on top.

Before I knew it, right when I was digging in for another bite, I had gobbled it all. 

Next time, it will be the breakfast bake similar to the ones found on Ashley’s blog. But for now, it was just the change of pace my stomach was looking for.

The "Not Really a Breakfast Bake" Rice Bowl

3/4 c. Cooked sweet brown rice
1 tbsp. Amaranth flour
1/4 tsp. Baking powder
1 Egg white
4 tbsp. So Delicious Unsweetened coconut milk (or whatever milk you have on hand)
1 tsp. Chia seeds
1/8 tsp. Sea salt
1/4 tsp. Cinnamon
1 Shimmy of nutmeg
1 tbsp. Maple syrup (optional)
1 Slab of butter (to put on top for baking)

Preheat oven to 350°F.
In a medium sized mixing bowl, combine all of the ingredients except for the butter and mix until the batter is consistent (you may have to break apart the rice with a spoon).
Pour into a small pan (or a larger one, so it becomes a sturdy breakfast bake), lay the butter on top, and place it into the oven anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour.
The recipe will rise much like a soufflé and gently fall.
Put the porridge into a bowl, with your choice of sweetener and garnish on top.

Serves 1.