My Boyfriend, The Vegetarian

His being vegetarian isn’t his only redeeming quality. He’s smart, funny, compassionate, handsome, and he believes in our relationship. He believes in making us work as much as I do. 

Air & Space Museum (see us?)

For the better part of 2013, he was my best-kept secret. Only a handful of people in my family and friendship circles even knew we were dating.  In fact, let me narrate the following conversation between my cousin and I:

Her: So Morri, I saw from Facebook that your relationship started in December of last year (we had made it Facebook official in August).

Me: (sheepish grin forming) Yeah, about that…

Her: So my question is… Why didn’t you tell me?

Or, better yet, I would mention him in passing and people would say, “Woah, woah! Hold the phone! Your boyfriend?!”

In truth, with my last relationship ending last year and being absolutely devastated by it, I was hesitant to bring this one under the Meals with Morri radar. In my logic, it was kind of like tattooing your sweetheart’s name onto your body, daring the Universe to do its worst. But the more and more we talked and spent time together (he was abroad for the majority of our relationship, teaching in Italy) over the summer, the more confident I felt that this was the person I wanted to be with as my partner. 

Our First Mead.

The ultimate lesson I am getting from this relationship is taking things in stride. Nothing is rushed. For the first time I didn’t feel like I had to be going one million miles a minute, and it was a glorious feeling to sleep in, watch Babylon 5, and make delicious food. 

Gluten Free Chicago-style Pizza

... Or at least delicious messes.

Pumpkin Uh-oh Waffles

That’s the other lesson I learned: cooking is extremely important to me when it comes to love. When he came to visit in December, he taught me to make cheese from scratch. It was the sort of moment, watching us cook together in perfect synchronization in an out-of-body sort way, that I realized I wanted this relationship to work with all my heart. I realized I was in love with him.

Koester Potatoes with fresh dill from my garden

I’ve also come to understand that there is no limitation to how much you love someone. I know this because I find ways to fall in love with him more and more each day. I find that even with hard conversations, I feel better for having them. We work to come up with solutions and not argue about who is right. We turn little things into traditions, like Waffle and Koester potatoes on Saturdays or reading to each other during long drives. We teach each other our passions, such as his love for chemistry, philosophy, and all things geektastic and my love for cooking, health, and conflict resolution.

Finally, besides "Communication! Communication! Communication!", cooking together has become my favorite pastime with him. It’s the thing I hope we never grow out of and continues bringing us together. 

Veggie Sushi with Adzuki Bean Miso and Onion Soup

So the secret is out: I have a partner. One who loves peanut butter as much as I do. One who loves being in the kitchen and wearing silly aprons. One whose family is as supportive of our being together as much as mine. One who showed me the fascinating world of DnD and vegetarian cuisine. One who wants to take me places. One who makes me nourishing food when I'm feeling less than awesome. One who is all for this adventure we call a relationship.

Us.

Now, I'm not sure if I will go full throttle vegetarian at this point, but at the moment my body is enjoying limiting meat from my diet in exchange for eggs, cheese, beans, and high protein gluten free grains. We'll see how it goes. 

The Magic of Making Food with Others

In the kitchen, it’s a sacred ritual for me to make food happen. For many years I have either made the meals or created the weekly menu for dinner. It became an individual almost meditative practice, feeling the heat from the burners or oven for the main meal, or the cool touch of washed vegetables as they are transformed into a salad. Water is poured and silverware is laid out. Dinner is served.

And I was okay with cooking alone and being in charge of the kitchen, until I realized how wonderful it is to share the process with another person. Since then I have craved cooking and eating with people. It is a way of connecting with others toward the same goal, that is, the making of a delicious meal. You prep the ingredients you are individually using, dancing around each other in the kitchen like it was rehearsed. The aromas of your share entwine with theirs, and when you bring it all together…

You feel so proud of what you put on the plate and feel even more connected with them than before.

I used to be Diva Chef incarnate once upon a time. People would sit on the couch watching me jump from counter to counter, keeping me company and even assisting in cutting up ingredients or stirring (when I'd let them). Perhaps it was a trust thing, more likely a control thing; but when you let the need of control go, you look outside the box to discover how wonderful a dish can be with collaborative effort.

I wholeheartedly and happily blame CK for wanting to cook with people more often. When he and JS came down to visit HL and I, he taught me how to make paneer from scratch, causing me to fall more in love with Indian food and recipes with multiple components in general. He reminded me of how food brings people together and how fun it is to make something with another person. HL is always fermenting something, and in a frilly apron taught me how she makes her sour beets. And then there was Mama Dazz, who helped make this recipe possible.

Whenever we’ve had a long week or Sunday turns out being a particularly lazy “chill out” day, we tend to look to put something on the dinner table that is neither on our typical menu roster (chili, huevos rancheros, baked chicken) nor prepared in the usual way (pressure cooker, on the stovetop, oven-baked). I had in mind to create a barbeque sauce from scratch, and Mama Dazz was craving ribs. Like clockwork she prepped the ribs with spices and placed them in the oven and I focused on the sauce and made the side dishes. When we sat down together for a Hallmark mother-daughter moment, we savored our efforts and bonded over dinner while I took the photos.

Barbeque sauce is hard to find that fits my dietary lifestyle, but is super easy to make from scratch. Perfect on meat and vegetable alike, it will suit any outdoor potluck you plan on going to.

Mesquite Barbeque Sauce

160 g Tomato paste
60 ml Unrefined apple cider vinegar
30 g Honey (or maple syrup for the herbivore crowd)
30 ml Olive oil
90 ml Filtered water
1/2 tsp. Sea salt
1/2 tsp. Mesquite powder
1/2 tsp. Cacao powder (regular cocoa powder is fine)
1/8 tsp. Chipotle powder
1/8 tsp. Spanish style smoked paprika
1/8 tsp. Garlic powder

In a small mixing bowl (able to contain at least 2 cups or 500 ml of liquid), start with the tomato paste and slowly integrate the ingredients one at a time in rapid stirring motions.
When it is thoroughly combined, use it for whatever recipe calling for barbeque sauce or put it in a closed container (preferably a glass jar) in the refrigerator until needed.
Use within 3 – 5 days of making.

Makes roughly 1 1/2 U.S. cups of sauce.

Reminiscing the Old and Planning the New

I am a planner. I like to plan things out, lay it out in manageable stages of logic of where I’ve started and how it will end. Starting things and ending things have always been a relatively easy task for me. The middle part on the other hand… not so much.

December passed by in a blur of anxiety, accomplishment, illness, sorrow, and people. There was a week following my final papers that consisted of a 101°F fever, coughing and sneezing and fairly vulnerable. All the plans I had for December, all those recipes, climbing problems, and yoga practices, didn’t happen. And for once, my plans to have everything done on time, precise and accurate, were tossed to the wind to make way of a much-needed break from it all. I slept. I wept. I ate. I loved.

I feel so grateful for this “shift or be shifted” year, with months of “aha” moments and triumphs and changes:

January was all about trying new ways to be physically active and making the perfect cornbread recipe.

February was a month of adventure, learning about various eating lifestyles, and the start to taking photography seriously as an art form/science.

 
March was the month of honoring my progression and loving myself, regardless of the bumps along the way.

April celebrated my one-year blogversary with what I learned and what I planned to learn before April 2013 rolled around.

May was the start of understanding how diet and exercise helped in healing a hypothyroid condition. Oh, and let’s not forget Graduation, which inspired me to continue my academic career in the graduate program in the School for Conflict Analysis and Resolution.

June was an honest month, and finally realizing how important taking care of myself really is.

July was the start of experimenting with pareve bento box snapshots, heartbreak on multiple levels, becoming adamant in weekend farmers markets, and supporting local food sources with a social justice twist.

August brought with it a movement of fermentation and homemade nut butters, personal growth and graduate school classes.

September gave me my first product review and coming face-to-face with hidden depths of life's grievances and growing pains.

October brought series of hard lessons, new priorities, a deeper relationship to family that will always be there no matter what, and loving all things simple.

 
November was my month of experimenting with Primal Blueprint eating, playing with gluten free beer, and twenty-three things I learned by my twenty-third birthday.

 
And December finished the year on a sweeter note than I could have ever hoped for.

With the last day before the New Year, I thought to share a recipe I was quite proud of. Even with many of December’s plans (there’s that word again) left undone, I have had plenty of time to get ready with January’s plans, more so intentions than they are resolutions. 

Happy New Year, everyone. Have fun and be safe!

 

Winter Gingerbread Cut-out Cookies (inspired by this recipe)

150 g Garbanzo bean flour
75 g Flaxseed meal
75 g Coconut flour
50 g Mesquite powder
1 tsp. Baking soda
2 tsp. Ground ginger
1 tsp. Cinnamon
1 tsp. Raw cacao powder (regular cocoa powder is fine)
1/4 tsp. Sea salt
1/4 tsp. Cracked pepper
125 g Unsalted butter, chilled and cut into small cubes
175 g Honey
1 Large egg

Measure out the flours, baking soda, and spices and pour into the bowl of the food processor to mix (a few pulses should do for mixing just fine).
Add the butter and blend until the mix looks like breadcrumbs, and then add the honey and egg until a sticky ball of dough forms.
Remove the dough from the food processor and mold into a thick disk to wrap in with parchment paper or saran wrap.
Place it in the fridge for 15 minutes to set.
Preheat the oven to 350°F, and line two baking trays with parchment paper.
Roll the dough out to a 1/4-inch thickness on a lightly floured surface (I used additional garbanzo bean flour).
Using your choice of cutters (I used my Ikea animal shapes, plus a few people, hearts, trees, and moons), cut out the shapes and place on the baking tray, leaving a gap between them.
Bake for 12-15 minutes (my oven’s baking time was between 13 and 14 minutes), or until lightly golden-brown.
Leave on the tray for 10 minutes and then move to a wire rack to finish cooling.
Continue cutting out the dough and baking until all of it has been used.*
When cooled decorate with the writing icing and cake decorations of your choice, but they are delicious as is and perfect for dunking into hot drinks.

Makes (roughly) three dozen cookies.

*Be sure the baking trays have cooled down completely before adding another batch!

Twenty-three Things

It was a glorious birthday weekend. I rock climbed and made primal-friendly brownies. I had a 1920s/Prohibition themed birthday party with mead making, classy friends, and laughter. I walked around with Daddy-O after a light lunch and returned with a Belgian waffle maker in tow. And now, with primal eating and my body in a love-not love relationship at the moment, I am taking it easy by writing this post, my birthday spirit still intact.

On Friday the 16th I turned twenty-three. I’ve heard people give up on the birthday magic after a certain age (most notably in the U.S., becoming legal to drink alcohol on your twenty-first), but not me. Turning twenty-three was awesome, because I feel my age in the most positive of aspects. I may not know what life has in store for me this year, but I have learned a lot thus far.

1. Living safely is not the same as living smartly.
2. I stopped aiming for perfection, and started living for progression.
3. Community is not only something you find; it’s something you make.
4. It’s okay to not be everything at once, and it’s okay to not be everything at once at twenty-three.
5. It is never too late to learn something, and it is never too late to start something new.
6. When asked “What is the point of life?”, this was my response: “I think there really is no one single answer to this question. My meaning is not your meaning, and your meaning isn't mine. Some people spend their entire lives looking for it, while others run into it one random November day. It may take seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, years, decades, and lifetimes to figure it out, but you won't know unless you put yourself out there for the Universe to show you what it offers. Sometimes dreams and goals take time, even grunt work and sh*t work that you may not like. Ask yourself ‘Is it worth it?’ for each and every dream and goal you have. If the answer is ‘no’, then move on to something that is.”
7. Observe without judgment; behind every action is a need.
8. There is no such thing as one perfect body, fitness regimen, or dietary lifestyle. (More on the this after Thanksgiving.)
9. The language your body speaks to you with is possibly one of the hardest and easiest languages you could learn.
10. How do you start to become great at something? By deciding you’re great at it.
11. When in doubt, make belief.
12.  I’m like a chess piece playing the best game I can with the squares I have accessible to the rules of the board.
13. You don’t have to be “on” all the time to be productive.
14. Being genuine has gotten me further than being nice.
15. I strive for community service that is for more than just humanity.
16. My progress is my progress, and it is still progression regardless of the time it takes.
17. Bettering yourself (looks, diet, fitness, education, work, life, etc…) just to prove to someone else what your are worth will never give you the satisfaction you think you’ll get from it.
18. If you treat your body like it’s something to control and fix, it will always be in constant rebellion.
19. Comparing myself to others is a disservice to both parties.
20. I am not my condition.
21. Living in optimism does not mean living with unrealistic expectations.
22. What climbing and yoga have taught me is to reach even with the fear of falling, to be flexible and self-aware, to breathe with purpose, to accept the not-today’s and celebrate the little wins, and to always keep trying.
23. Life is the biggest science experiment there is.

Primal Birthday Brownies (inspired by this recipe)

180 g Coconut oil, solid and at room temperature
125 g Cocoa powder
240 ml Whole milk
100 g Honey
3 Large eggs
240 g Almond meal
1/2 tsp. Sea salt
1/2 tsp. Bourbon vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 325°F.
Place the coconut oil and cocoa powder in a bowl and mix well.
Add the coconut milk, honey, eggs, almond meal, and spices and blend until combined.
Pour the brownie mixture into a greased 8x8” pan* and smooth the surface of the mixture.
Bake for 30 minutes, then remove and allow it to cool before cutting into individual servings.

Makes 20 servings.

*I was able to make two batches with this recipe, though I do believe the thicker the brownie layer, the gooier and less cake-like it will be.

The Aftermath: Coming Together in Support for Sandy

Food brings people together. It is a statement so true that I have written about it over and over and over again. In most cases I say this for idyllic circumstances, where I’m surrounded by people I love, laughing over plates of delicious food, or philosophizing about something or other while sipping cider, tea, or mead. Food is a way of connecting with people as one of our most basic needs are met, physically warmed as it reaches our stomachs and emotionally warmed as we discover how extraordinary life is with those we love.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, there are those out there still picking up the pieces the storm had left in its wake. While the worst I experienced were flickering lights, empty water jugs artfully flung into the grass from the porch, and a toppled birdbath, my family was still safe and warm from Sandy’s screaming winds. For days some families were without power, or unable to leave their streets because of fallen trees and large debris. Thousands had to be evacuated from their homes, and additional thousands lost them entirely. And unfortunately, we lost a few sentient beings in the storm’s havoc.

Here I was, working on my own life, and as if reawakened I was suddenly aware what was going on around me. There are others out going through the same thing I am, and I no longer feel so alone in my experiences. In times like these people realize that they aren’t alone, that they’re cared about and their lives are meaningful. So whoever you are, wherever you are, whether I know you or not, I wish you well and hope you are safe.

When the lovely Jenn of Jenn Cuisine posted “Food Bloggers Support for Sandy”, I felt that this would be a great opportunity to reconnect with others in the world, creating a virtual buffet of warmth and delight of the senses for a shared cause. This isn’t about gluten-free eating; and to be honest, it really isn’t about Sandy (although it was the event that brought Jenn and Barbara [of Creative Culinary] to create this awareness). It’s about connecting with your neighbors: the ones living next door and the ones in the states Sandy hit the hardest. It’s about remembering that, regardless of political/national/ethnic orientation, we are still people who live, breathe, laugh, cry, suffer, love, and eat.

Perhaps you will donate to the various organizations Jenn listed towards disaster relief. Perhaps you will volunteer your time to providing food and other provisions yourself. Or maybe, just maybe, you will create a dish in the hopes to create awareness and reach out to whichever neighbor happens to need you most.

Regardless, I dedicate this meal to the people who volunteered, rescued, survived, and persevered during Hurricane Sandy.

Roasted Pork Loin and Vegetables

2 lb. Pork Loin
1 lb. Brussels sprouts
3 Sweet potatoes (a little larger than hand-sized), chopped into bite-sized pieces
2 Apples (I used small Fujis), coarsely chopped
4 Garlic cloves, coarsely chopped
1 Red onion, coarsely chopped
70 ml Rendered chicken fat*
120 ml Apple cider
1 tsp. Sea salt
1 tsp. Dried tarragon
1/2 tsp. Mignonette pepper**
1/4 tsp. Powdered rosemary

Preheat the oven to 450°F.
In a x” baking sheet lined with aluminum foil, set the whole pork loin in the center to bake uncovered for 35 minutes.
In a large mixing bowl, fold the remaining ingredients until completely integrated and well mixed.
Remove the pork from the oven, pour the vegetables around the meat, and cover with aluminum foil.
Place the pan back in the oven, reducing the heat to 375° to bake for an additional hour.
Take off the foil and cook for another 30 minutes, or until the center of the meat reaches 177° and the vegetables are soft and have browned slightly.
When done, slice the meat into thick cutlets, and serve each cut with a heaping spoonful of veggies (you could also make a quick gravy with the leftover juices).
Serve warm.

Makes 6 – 8 servings.

*I usually have a jar of the stuff after making my oven-baked chicken. But if you don't happen to have this on hand, you can substitute it with your preferred cooking oil/fat.

**This is Penzeys Spices's version of "coarsely cracked pepper", so whatever cracked peppercorns you have will work beautifully.

Playing with Paleo: A Delicious Birthday Experiment

The autumn storms have rolled in and brought with them that crisp air I love so much. Pumpkin and apples are in ample supply, and baking is becoming a coming occurrence in my household. With my Masters application officially submitted, I’ve exhaled this breath I had apparently been holding. Along with other hard lessons digesting from September, October is looking to be one creative and relaxed sort of month (save for midterms, of course).

The best part of fall is the flavor selection. We have foods that warm and fill us, sweet and savory ingredients that come together in a symphony of delights, and the oven always seems to be preheated and ready to go. To add to that, fall is the season I become very adventurous in my recipes.
 

Over the weekend I celebrated my two best friends’ birthdays. J and TJ, a ridiculously adorable couple, have been so supportive and loving as I pieced together what had been causing my recent stress, and visiting them (individually and together) always lightens my heart and brightens my day.

What was left of the piñata...

So when I was approached with the challenge to make a Paleo dessert for TJ, a lover of pumpkin and cheesecake, my Creative Mind’s gears starting turning.

In place of cream cheese and butter, because TJ is lactose intolerant, I looked for ways to make turn raw, dehydrated coconut flakes into “cheese” with a creamy nut butter consistency. (How did I do it? Read on for the link in the directions.) For the crust, almond meal and coconut oil was used to make it grain-free and dairy-free, and it had a marvelous crushed graham cracker taste and consistency.

 It was a delicious experiment, and one that will only get better over time. As for TJ and J?

They loved it.

Paleo Pumpkin Birthday "Cheese"cake

For the crust:
240 g Almond meal
64 g Honey
1/2 tsp. Cinnamon
120 g Coconut oil, melted

For the filling:
500 g Homemade coconut “butter”
425 g Pumpkin puree
3 Large eggs
400 g Honey
Juice of 1 Lemon
1 tsp. Bourbon vanilla extract
1/2 tsp. Cinnamon
1/4 tsp. Nutmeg
1/4 tsp. Ginger
Sea salt, to taste (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
In a medium bowl, combine the almond meal, honey, cinnamon, and melted coconut oil. (If a little wet, add a little more almond meal until it is soft but stable to the touch.)
Press the mixture throughout a greased 9-inch pie pan until evenly covered, and then set aside.
If you do not have homemade coconut butter on hand, proceed to Chocolate Covered Katie’s blog to learn how to make your own, and then add it to the remaining ingredients for the filling in another medium bowl to mix.
Pour the filling in the center of the pie pan and spread it evenly.
Cover the crust with aluminum foil to prevent burning and bake at the center of the oven for one hour.
Remove from the oven and let it sit for 2 – 4 hours until room temperature and then let chill in the fridge for an additional 2 – 4 hours or overnight before serving.
Serve cold.

Makes 8 – 16 servings.

Commemorating Summer with a Meal

Summer is the season of extremes, the season of hot, sticky weather and the season of powerful storm-fronts. Clear blue skies and the scorching sun make beaches a preferable environment and grilling the cooking method of choice.

After all, who wants a kitchen heating up the whole house when it’s the perfect time to cook outside and the cool indoors can welcome you?

We celebrated the first day of summer on Thursday (it was within the first twenty-four hours EST, so I’m counting it), and the grill seared the lamb pieces and caramelized the squash and eggplant in their aluminum foil pockets. Mama Dazz and I took turns watching the grill as I put on the finishing touches of my quinoa tabouli and mint watermelon lemonade (recipe below). Everything was prepared with care (sipping on New Grist gluten-free beer all the while). Everything was eaten with gusto. Everything was delicious and harmonized well together in flavor, texture, and presentation. Everything I took a bite or sip of reminded me of the beauty of the summer season.

The first days of summer have been filled with preparation for summer camp at the community center: learning the morning dances; decorating the rooms and the “Art Cart” (I’m the Art Specialist for the first three weeks); attending conferences in regards to team-building, creating a nurturing environment for the campers, customer service, and the ethics and principles we should bring with every day; and making friends with such an amazing group of people.

I wish summer camp went on like this all year long, because I love this program. I hope to update you all with the art projects the kids make, many Bento Box Snapshots that adhere to Judaic principles (the community center and camp is Jewish-oriented, though many who participate, such as myself, are not). I will be working on keeping my lunches and snacks as kosher as possible, and the camp is willing to work with me around my dietary restrictions.

I love this job already, and I’m so excited for the challenges ahead.

The watermelon was initially going to be part of a virgin watermelon mojito drink, but I only had lemons on hand. It was refreshingly light and yet harmoniously flavorful with amount of ingredients. The amount of each ingredient wasn’t measured out, so I suggest tasting as you go, but the watermelon should be the main ingredient, followed by the peppermint and then the lemon juice. You can put it all through the juicer, or use a powerful blender and strain the pulp.

Mint Watermelon Lemonade

1 “Small” (between 9 and 12 pounds when whole) watermelon, cut from the rind in medium-sized chunks
1 handful Peppermint, coarsely torn into pieces
Juice from 4 – 5 Lemons* (depending on how “lemony” you want it) 

In small batches, blend the watermelon chunks on a low pulse until it has a gazpacho consistency and strain the pulp over a large bowl to catch the juice.
Continue blending in small batches, the last one containing the mint and lemon juice, and place the drink in glasses to serve for any summer feast.
Serve chilled or slightly below room temperature.

Makes 6 – 8 glasses.

*If you would like to make mojitos from this recipe, simply replace the lemons with lime and add rum (or keep it kid-friendly, if you prefer). It really doesn’t need additional sweetener, but do so to your preference. And I'm sure you could make an amazing soft drink with some sparkling water added to it.

The Bento Box Snapshot: Tandoori Spiced Chicken, Lemon Parsley Quinoa Salad, & Gooey Sweet Potato

Before I write about the major flop I made the other day (think the offspring of a muck monster with a vegan muffin), I thought I’d share my night of shenanigans with a Bento Box Snapshot. 

I know. It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of these.

I’ve been working at the community center’s BASE (Before and After School Enrichment) program since last fall, and I can honestly say it is the first job I’ve ever had where I felt part of a team. We work together to help each other, to making it a fun experience for the kids that come every day, and it is a growing experience. I’ve learned the art of communication, of true conflict resolution in its purest form, and how to be a team player. Yesterday night we celebrated a friend’s new job by going to Auld Shebeen, the one and only Irish pub and restaurant in Fairfax. I had always wanted to go, and I finally had the chance!

Just so you know, the merlot is fantastic.

Anyway, as I was fairly certain not much of anything on the menu was Morri friendly (save the wine list), I made a bento dinner and ate it outside the community center, reveling in the beautiful weather before joining the group to wish our friend Matt well. 

I had a chicken breast from the tandoori inspired meal we had on Wednesday on top of a lemon parsley quinoa salad (similar to tabouli), and a perfectly baked sweet potato on the side. 

This BBS kept my tummy happy and able to be with my friends while they ate without wanting to eat the table. And come on, if it has sweet potato in it, it has to be good.

Crock-Pot Cranberry Apple Cider and a Love Story

There is another reason as to why I love Halloween. Besides homemade candy and traditional food, I love today because it was two years ago I met the boyfriend.

After a few weeks of moving into off-campus housing for the first time, I became friends with a group of people whom I still adore today. It’s because of my friend GM I met my friend TJ. It was TJ who invited the lot of us to his fraternity’s Halloween party. And it was at that party I met him. Coincidence? I think not. 

Our first photo together, March 2010

The rest, my friends, is history.

When I met him, it was one of those moments that I said to myself, “Now, this is a person I need to get to know better!” I was wearing goth boots with my costume, but I knew we would be around the same height without them. It was a strange evening, because I ended up hanging out with the pair of them for the majority of it, laughing and talking the whole time. I left that party with his phone number, but that was just the beginning.

We saw each other again on campus the first week in November. I was drinking a cup of Joe in La Pat[isserie] on the first floor of the Johnson Center before my interview, and he stopped at my table to say hello. In my forward ways, I told him that it was such a treat to see him again and that I’d almost forgotten how cute he was (I know, I’m terrible). For some reason, we kept bumping into each other and, naturally, I started liking him even more. We hung out officially for his birthday on November 19th with TJ, three days after mine, and we started hanging out on a regular basis afterward. Even before we formally started dating in January, he came over for Leftovers Day (the day after Thanksgiving at our house) and played various games with my family. It also seemed, I don’t know, right to invite him and his father over for a Yule dinner (December 21st, also known as the Winter Solstice).

Our friendship knew no bounds. We went to the gym with mutual friends together. We went to the movies and stole kisses on the cheek. We went out to dinner. We made dinner together.  I think it had blossomed to the point that being in a true-blue relationship was the appropriate next step, and I cannot express how amazing it is to be in love (and with) one of my very best friends in the whole world.  

He went into this relationship knowing of my lifestyle, and he’s been just fabulous about it all. Whenever he is craving for the Old Country cuisine, he either finds a recipe that is naturally gluten free or modifies it to make it gluten free. And whenever I cook something up for this blog, he is always willing to be experimented on.

Two years ago today I met and became good friends with a few people, and I raise a glass to them. With all my love, Dear Friends, and Cheers to You All.

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.” (George Washington)

Crock-Pot Cranberry Apple Cider

64 oz Apple Cider
16 oz Cranberry Juice, unsweetened
3 oz Maple Syrup
2 Clementines, thinly sliced
Juice from 1/2 a Lemon (0.4 oz)
0.5 oz Fresh ginger, peeled and cut into chunks
1 tsp. Bourbon vanilla
1 stick or 1 tsp. Cinnamon
1/2 tsp. Allspice
1/2 tsp. Coriander
1/4 tsp. Nutmeg

Combine all the ingredients into a Crock-Pot and allow it to cook on low heat for eight hours.

Serves 8 – 12 people.

Honesty, Health, and Stew Beef Enchiladas

The beauty of the human condition is how broad personal experiences can be, especially when there is a willingness to share them with others. That is one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place; I want to share what I’ve learned and reflect the impact reading what others have experienced.

And I want to do it every time I post.

My next post: Spiraling Spirulina Oatmeal

There are two bloggers who’ve each posted an entry that really struck home for me. Shauna of Gluten-Free Girl and the Chef wrote about the dark side of blogging (titled "warm brown rice and grilled vegetable salad"), about how people choose to use the anonymity of the Internet to be cruel, and basically make themselves feel all-powerful by using hurtful words in attempt to belittle another.

No one has done this to me through my blog, but after the house fell through, one of the landlords’ kids (and once a friend of mine) sent me a message through Facebook saying how dare I disrespect my roommates and her home. Her last statement was this: “Good luck finding an apartment. I hope it takes you months.” It’s not like she was outlandishly malicious or anything, because she was angry and that’s how she felt. I responded with an “I’m sorry you feel that way…” sort of spiel and said I found a place that was just what I needed. As of now I am commuting to school from home, and as the consequence of living at home, I am slowly moving and unpacking all my things in the manner to my liking. The boyfriend is staying in the guest bedroom, and as mentioned in my last post, I am happier than I’ve been in months.

In a matter of days, however, new friends filled the void, and it just keeps getting better and better. Misery loves company, and it doesn’t like those who soar high overhead above it. Shauna embodies that tenfold. She has a life filled to the brim with joy and prosperity that some envy and possibly resent, so they nitpick the most ridiculous of things just to bring her down to their level. But she doesn’t go down, not even a centimeter; she simply flies even higher.

Yesterday, Iris of The Daily Dietribe wrote a post titled “Does She Really Have a Food Sensitivity or is it an Eating Disorder?” As I was reading, I couldn’t help but think how much it related to my experiences, particularly when people give me that “look” when I tell them I can’t eat something they made especially for me. It sucks when I go over to a house and know I can’t eat much or anything being offered, because that means I have to deny a very intimate connection that food seems to offer interpersonally. It sucks that I have to be so anal and paranoid when I go to a restaurant (if at all), sometimes even eating beforehand so my stomach won’t grumble as I watch people enjoy their orders. And yes, sometimes I do wonder if I have an eating sensitivity or if it is purely a psychological malfunction, an eating disorder that manifests discomfort every time I accidentally consume something on my “Red” list. Maybe it’s a bit of both, but all I know is I feel better not eating wheat, soy, refined sugars, artificial flavors and sweeteners, anything processed, and weird chemically things found in food I can’t pronounce.

So do I have a form of disordered eating? Maybe. Probably. I certainly used to be: excessively counting calories, limiting food intake, exercising a certain amount of calories at a time (also known as exercise bulimia), and had panic attacks when something not Morri-friendly entered in my system without my knowledge. I’m part of a cooking club at the University (Café GMU), and to make up for my inability to eat anything, even when gluten-free bread like Udi’s is being provided, I help in the kitchen and make people laugh. Do I wish I could taste the food? Of course I do. I always do. I never binged on food I restricted from my diet, but I dream about it often. Why, just last night I dreamed of pita bread rising in the oven, and the night before I dreamed of eating a muffin, a gluten-filled muffin. Sometimes in my dreams I wonder why I bother being gluten-free, and I take a bite and savor the taste with every chew until I swallow. Seconds later, I panic, and wake up wondering if I really did eat it because of the vividness of the act. It’s better than my reoccurring zombie nightmares, but still, it is always a very uncomfortable and upsetting thing to dream about.

I’m telling you this because these two amazing and strong women have been upfront and honest with what they go through, the good and the bad. As for me, the idea of being honest about the struggles behind the scenes seems, well, unnerving. I’ve talked about disordered eating and fanatically exercising before, but I didn’t talk about the things beneath the surface. I never talked about my hypothyroid condition in length, or how my bowels and digestion were delicate and fickle. And because I was afraid of people I knew thinking what I wrote to be a “too much information” sort of thing, I didn’t mention my hormones being topsy-turvy because my menstrual cycle was either obscenely light or non-existent.

Well, I’m being honest now.

Last year, from May to about February, I went nine months with only one period from that summer up to coming back to Mason from my semester in Sweden. That was before I was diagnosed with a hypothyroid, and it may have been that I was simply not eating enough for my body to believe I wasn’t starving. Regardless, I felt less of a woman, and it impacted my life more I than I realized. That’s what happened on Friday; after a four-month hiatus, Lady Red came to town. Something shifted, and immediately I realized my down-in-the-dumps attitude was because of an extended version of pre-menstrual symptoms (a better terminology for PMS), that made me fatigued, in a funk, not wanting to fix what I could fix, and wanting to hide under the covers until it was all over. Suddenly I felt connected to the world and The Way. The stress went away and those little things that affected me so negatively don’t even exist anymore. I am able to keep up with my classes and still make time for CARmunity as Director of Student Representatives and Diplomatic Affairs in S/CAR. I have the energy to go to the gym and was pleasantly surprised that I wasn’t as bad off as I thought I was. The current I fought so hard against is flowing to my pace, and I am beyond ecstatic and feel amazing. 

Stew Beef Enchilada

1.5 lbs. Lean stew beef meat, cut into manageable chunks
1 can (14.5 oz) Diced tomatoes
1 tsp. Chili powder
1 tsp. Chipotle powder
1 tsp. Paprika
1 tsp. Cumin
1 tsp. Trader Joe’s smoked sea salt (or whatever salt you have on hand)
1/4 tsp. Cracked pepper
1 tbsp. Unsweetened cocoa powder
3 tbsp. Olive oil
1 Shallot
3 Garlic cloves
8 oz Filtered water
8 oz Riesling
1 1/2 Green zucchini (medium-sized), finely grated
2 Carrots, finely grated
10 oz Ricotta
1 can (14 oz) Black beans, drained
12 Trader Joe’s Corn Tortillas
2.5 oz Pecorino Romano, finely grated

Preheat the oven to 375ºF.
With a pressure cooker or large pot, grease the bottom generously with olive oil and cook the meat on medium-high heat.
Put in the blender the tomatoes, spices, oil, shallot, garlic, and the water and blender until thoroughly pureed.
After the outside of the meat is cooked, though still raw in the middle, put half of the sauce including the Riesling in with the meat and cover the pressure cooker or pot with the lid, and cook of medium-low heat for at least half an hour.
Using a fork or a wooden spoon, tear apart the stew beef chunks into individual strands.
Grease a deep 9x9” pan and start the layering process, beginning with 4 tortillas on the bottom, then veggies, ricotta, meat, and beans, repeating once more with some of the sauce splashed throughout.
Top with the last 4 tortillas, the remaining sauce, and the Pecorino Romano.
Bake for 45 minutes to an hour until the cheese has browned and the sauce is bubbling.

Makes 6 – 8 servings.